UPDATE

There is an anti-war protest rally scheduled for Sunday the 13th of April. This should only affect those driving through the city centre, and possibly as far south as central station, but still - take note. It could affect your travel plans.

It has been a long time - a very long time since the Sydney noding contingent got the gumption together and organised a party. The original shindig of March 2001 is still fondly remembered by many, and the ensuing yum cha madness of November 2001, which concluded with much drunken revelry, is recalled even more fondly (although I'm sure for not all the right reasons).

Is it true? Could it really be 15 months since we last gathered and drank to forget that all we do is node? Sadly it is, and I'm here to stop this anti-social behavior in its tracks.

Sunday
13th April 2003
1:00 PM

This date will be rued for years to come. If the shenanigans we have planned even come to half fruition, you will be requiring psychological guidance for quite some time afterwards. And if we need a genuine reason to get together, which we of course don't - there is one to be had anyway. We now have over 100 registered Australian noders! - Cause célèbre if there ever was one.

The proposal

The festivities will commence at my digs, 1:00 PM sharp. I know - I am close to mad to throw open my apartment to you wily noders - but I have this one simple request. If you must trash my place - please do it with a sense of style, and leave me with an anecdote I can dine out on for some time afterwards.

Sadly, there are limitations. You read correctly above. I live in an apartment - not a 3-bedroom penthouse, not a 2 bedroom with en-suite, but a quite nice, yet quite small studio apartment. 6 people will be a squeeze.

"But sneff, oh dim one - we need more than 6 noders to make this soiree swing!"

Right you are, whippersnapper, so here is the contingency. Just outside my Lilliputian apartment is a gargantuan rooftop BBQ area. It will fit 100 persons, each with room to swing a cat - and it has views, not great views, but views nonetheless. So do not feel hard done by when I admit you to my place of residence, only to promptly usher you back out the door and onto the rooftop terrace. That's just the way it needs to be. And the bad news sadly doesn't end there. As much as I would like to call this massive rooftop terrace my own - it just isn't. It is body corporate territory, and is shared among all the other residents of my apartment block. When the sun sets, or when you shaggy lot get too inebriated, strepitant and unruly (whichever comes first - my money is with the latter), we WILL need to decamp.

Luckily there is a second contingency. The Hopetoun Hotel. Yes - the scene of the last gathering's demise. Frigid is still held there on Sunday evenings, so for those that would like to continue the debauchery, 5 bucks and a 10 minute stroll is all it will take to enjoy some of this town's finest live, progressive electronica. (For the rest, Central station is just down the hill).

• Ahh - breaking news.

  There is now also Re-bound at the Roxbury Hotel in Glebe, from 4PM til 12AM. Yes Glebe is a bit further, BUT this is a free entry arrangement, and some of Australia's best PsyTrance DJ's will be playing upstairs, along with chill and breaks downstairs. We may need to take a quick poll on this one.

  Allright - here are the logistics

  Who is invited?

  Everyone. If you have an E2 account - if you live in Kingsford or Kinshasa - if you live in Australia, the UK, the US, Norway or Chad (particularly Chad) - you are welcome, and welcome with open arms.

  But realistically, all Aussies are invited. Sydneysiders by default, but any of you out of town, or interstate noders are strongly encouraged. If you can make the journey, we will make it worth your while.

  What there will be

  • Food. There will be a modest spread of little foods. Read cocktail food. Read the stuff that looks nice at parties, but really pisses you off 'cause you're so damn hungry after eating a fistful. There will be enough chow to keep abject hunger at bay, but more ambitious grub is sadly beyond the scope of this shindig. Now is also the time to make noise if you have dietary requirements. Vegan? Gluten intolerant? Practicing orthodox Inuit? There ain't a whole lot I can do about it on the day. Tell me now.

  • Ice. A tubful - which should prove to be just not enough.

  • Music. After a long search, I finally located that über-rare Slim Dusty bootleg which now completes my Slim collection. You can feel safe in the knowledge that all his greatest works (including the lesser known gems) will be aired on the day.

  • Computer. There is one very old, very grimy PC running Win98, which has a shot collection of dll's and a flaky primary slave IDE drive. It connects to the world through a dodgy dial-up 56K connection, and basically it is a piece of shit. But it is my piece of shit, and come the 13th of April, what is mine is yours buddy. If you want to hit E2 on the day, avail yourself of the techno-museum. Of course, if you want to bring laptops with bluetooth and ADSL modems along, I won't stop you.

  • Pool. There is a pool, and it is a pretty nice 25-metre lap pool at that. There is also a sauna, so if you want to indulge in these facilities, bring the appropriate attire. Only one of my guests has ever jumped in the pool with Levi's and boots on - and Derek, you are not welcome back.

  • Parking. There is undercover, off-street parking. If you wish to park here, you will need to get in touch with me beforehand. Please don't surprise me.

  What there will not be

  • Alcohol. That's right you lushes - this gig will be strictly BYO. If you want beer, if you want chardonnay, if you want 75-year-old Armagnac, pick it up on the way. There are several bottle shops within 5 minutes walk if you are too hung over to remember to pick up the booze beforehand. Myself, I will have a shelf-full of my regular tipple - 50 ml vials of laudanum. Do not ask for any. I will part with none unless you are extraordinarily comely.

  • Transport. Sorry - I have no car. I am defiantly bipedal. You will need to make your own way here from the closest public transit centre, which is pretty much Central Station. Unless of course a car-owning noder volunteers to do some ferrying. Watch this space.

  • Water pistols. How could I have forgotten this major detail when arriving at the date? April the 13th falls right bang in the middle of Songkran! The Thai New Year, and water festival. If we don't spray water around liberally on the day, next years Thai rice crop will, I repeat - WILL fail. This sorta makes it your duty to bring a damn water pistol along. I have a pal from the Kent St fire brigade, who drives a big fire truck (who might not be busy on the day) - so you better get yourself - ahuh - a pretty mean water gun.

    Of course, in light of current events causing horror around the world, I am loath to see anyone hold a pistol - even if it is plastic and filled with H₂O. Perhaps bring garden spray bottles along instead. You can mist my orchids in between noder dousings.

  The Fine Print

  OK - here is the stuff my legal representatives insisted that I include.

  • RSVP's. I like surprises as much as the next foo, but please - pretty please, send an RSVP if you want to attend. This is as simple as sending me a /msg saying "Yo! I'm so down Willis!" - or something to that streetwise effect. I really need to know how many mouths there will be to feed, so your coolness on this issue will be a great blessing. I will be confirming all the Yo's and all the maybe's within 7 working days of the event.

  • Accommodation. I have one (1) fold-out double bed, and if you need to use it, either on the Saturday night before, or the Sunday night after the event, it is yours. If there are several noders seeking shelter, this bed will go to the one (or two) noder(s) who traveled the furthest, or whoever finds themselves in the greatest need. If you anticipate having accommodation problems, get in touch with me. Something will be arranged.

  • The location. My humble digs can be found at;

    407/508 Riley Street, Surry Hills, Sydney

    It is a bitch to find, but I will put a street map on my homenode closer to the day. If required, a contact number will be provided after you have confirmed as a definite yes.

  Let the hedonism begin.

  ---

  RSVP's

  Hell yes

  • Orpheum
  • BlakJak
  • Taliesin's Muse
  • simonc
  • Augusta
  • Freaek
  • Phalaenopsis
  • Lazarus
  • Kalon
  • Proquar
  • Nemosyn
  • PowderedTOASTMan
  • Sapia
  • kalen
  • chilidog
  • Inoshiro_K
  • Nightjar
  • VirtualWolf
  • → YOUR SORRY ASS HERE ←

  Mark me as a maybe

  • bexxta
  • mollusc
  • tres equis

  Just can't do it

  • Ouroboros
  • bindlenix
  • mkb
  • fuzzy and blue
  • Jongleur
  • oblivius
  • semprini
  • Big Alba
  • The_Moo_Cow
  • chaosbreather
  • Arwon
  • arkaem
  • jt
  • mellamaphone
  • sideways
  • Danoot
  • Zerotime
  • Zero Signal
  • Koan

So, after 1.6 years in this crazy community, I finally had the chance to get together with a whole bunch of noders. Courtesy of our wonderful some may say crazy host sneff, we had the time, we had the place, we had the snacks - all we needed were the noders.

If you host it...they will come...

And come they did! Under a grey Sydney sky, we sat on sneff's huge BBQ area. I arrived (a little late, after having a little difficulty negotiating the one way streets of Surry Hills) to find simonc manning the hotplate. From the moment I sat down, food was hitting the table. After all, our host is a chef, and he certainly did not disappoint (except maybe to learn that his 'home made' sausages were only home made as far as twisting long sausages into small sausages...)

So as it went, after finally finding the home of sneff, and being buzzed in (damn it feels awkward hitting the buzzer, not knowing whether to introduce yourself with your real name, or user name...), I found myself surrounded by noders. Bexxta is the only noder I have ever met in real life before - after a hug, I found another moment of feeling a little strange introducing myself - "Hi...I'm Orpheum". Of course, it makes it easier when you see a light of recognition in the eyes facing you at that point, and you remember that while it may sound strange to your ears, using this name, it's the only name the other people there have ever attached to you.

So the afternoon went on, and people came and went. As I'm a quiet soul by nature (particularly with people I don't really know), I had the opportunity to observe. Unfortunately, I'm also terrible with names - whether they be real names, or user names. It is also possible that I will mismatch names to faces - hopefully I'll manage to get them right though! However, there are a few remembrances that stand out...

• chilidog assures us of the existence of Black Vodka. Following much questioning, we determined that it is just like normal vodka, except completely black (the use of some form of bean was mentioned as the catalyst for the dramatic transformation). Possessing magical properties, such as being opaque, like milk. The incredible ability to turn orange juice green. I shall keep my eye out for this amazing twist on regular vodka - if anyone manages to corner the elusive black vodka beast, please let me know.


• sapia may, or may not, be of Kiwi origins. Please understand that the accusation was levelled by a man who had polished off a bottle of Tequila (sans worm) in a matter of hours, and while his speech didn't seem to be greatly affected, it is entirely possible that he was hearing accents that were not there.


• Inoshiro_K is a much more interesting proposition as far as accents go however. He seems to have developed an incredible Canadian style of accent, through living in Glebe, Sydney. All in attendance were suitably impressed at his ability to completely transgress the normal Aussie drawl, and carve out his own, unique, take on the accent. Research on the Glebe area accent is, I believe, warranted and necessary.


• I discovered that Taliesin's Muse is not, in fact, a bloke. I also discovered how to actually pronounce her user name. I didn't have as much learning to do as the noder in attendance who admitted that for a long time, they had misread the name as Taliesin's Mouse though...


• Nightjar provided official security for the event. None were in any doubt that if they misbehaved, they would be heading for a rapid descent to Room 101. Nightjar also carried out the important task of critising sneff's music, while being torn between wanting to hear some fuckin' Stooges, and Rage's Killing In The Name.


• PowderedTOASTMan can quote virtually anything. Pretty much perfectly. He appears to be one of those people who actually possess a pretty damn good memory (bastard...)


• Ten year old fireworks are strange things. While the first one went off almost instantly, and the bumblebee one (sneff, if you're reading this, please use your mad editor skillz to edit this to read something more correct than 'the bumblebee one' - for the life of me I can't remember its name!)
  ...Ed. Note The pyrotechnic delight in question was a Butterfly Welcome Spring.
  went off with a reasonable degree of spectacularness, the remaining two were virtually fireproof. One went off once broken in half, with fire directly on the powder, the other refused to burn even when subjected to a dousing of lighter fluid. The cardboard burnt off around it, still the contents didn't ignite. I think we've found a replacement for asbestos as a fireproofing material!


• Lastly, I didn't get to talk to nearly as many people as I should have. Blame that on my reserved nature - groups of people I don't know make me even quieter than normal. Next time however, I'll be more chatty, I promise! Either that, or we'll have the meet in a net cafe, and ICQ each other all night long.

Bah, there's a heap of stuff I'm forgetting here, I'm sure, or haven't mentioned. Like Proquar's grand plan for a tofu turkey, stuffed with pork. The way the rain held off until things were starting to wind up, so everything didn't go to shit. The falafel sushi (how many others would have simply admitted defeat when the falafels fell apart in the first instance?)

So I've got my first noder meet notch on my belt. I'm looking forward to adding more!

Minutes of the
Sunsets, Swimmers, Soirees and Somnambulism.
A mid autumn Sydney descent into hedonism
Noders' Meeting

Sunday, 13 April 2003

Attendees: Sneff (Chair), Anjum, Bexxta, Blakjak, ChiliDog, copious amounts of alcohol, Freaek, Inoshiro_K, Jeren, Kalen, Nightjar, Odette, Orpheum, PowderedTOASTman, Proquar, Sapia, Simonc, Taliesin's Muse, Tres Equis, VirtualWolf.

Apologies: See above

Meeting commenced: 1:00pm

1. Ice breaking. The meeting began and there was much ice that needed breaking. Of course, there was the very fratty, but literal ice in the laundry sink (Actioned: Simonc). But there was much figurative ice to be broken. Discussions based on noding and favourites followed. Ice breaking continued to be an issue of the meeting, and was found to be helped by the lubrication of various liquids, including red wine, beer and Tequila (Actioned: all attendees).
2. Photography. (Actioned Simonc)
3. First Course. The table was prepared with Lebanese Sushi a la Simonc, hommus, baba ganoush, pickled garlic, tomato relish, Laksa in a spring roll (Actioned: Simonc, Sneff, Proquar, VirtualWolf).
   Chipolati made by modified by Sneff, Thai chicken and flatbread were barbecued (Actioned: Simonc).
4. A new cuisine was born. Owing greatly to the creative skills of Simonc. The cry: Long live Lebanese sushi!! was given loud and long.
5. Subcommittees. The forming, and reforming of subcommittees was required to discuss various issues: state of play, historical data, the movers and shakers, current issues and so forth. Records for most of the subcommittee findings are located elsewhere.
6. Second Course. Second course was served (Actioned: Sneff, Bexxta): Sticky toffee pudding (Actioned: Sneff), Sara Lee ice cream (Actioned: Simonc) and cream cheese brownies (Actioned: Proquar).
7. A sponsorship of Sneff Listening to mock duck in its tin (To be actioned: Freaek, Proquar) including nodeshelling (To be actioned: Tres Equis).
8. Security. Code word "101" was to be used for assistance required in ejecting any 'undesirables' (Actioned: Nightjar). The Deputy Security Officer position was rejected, as the said officer was the cause of most 101's.
9. The kissing lesson. (Actioned: names are withheld to protect the somewhat innocent).
10. Meeting outcomes: Consensus reached that a fabulous event had been orchestrated by Sneff.

Meeting concluded: 5:00am

Distribution List: Minutes will be kept on E2 database.