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Subarctic Survival

created by dko

(idea) by dko (9.1 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Wed Nov 15 2000 at 0:56:19


I remember seeing one of those 'Wilderness Survival' sheets on the web somewhere. They give you fifteen items and you have to rank them 1 to 15, in order of importance.

The back story is such: You're on a plane with a few others. The plane has crashed. The pilot is dead. Between you, you have $153 in bills, a pocket knife, and an air map.

The items are:

Magnetic Compass
Gallon Can of Maple Syrup
Sleeping Bag
Bottle of Water Purification Tablets
20ft by 20ft Heavy Canvas
13 Wood Matches
250ft Rope
Working Flashlight
Pair of Snowshoes
Fifth of Bacardi
Shaving Kit w/ Mirror
Alarm Clock
Hand Axe
Innertube of 14 Inch Wheel
Northern Star Navigation (book)
What are your combos? I'm a veteran of adventure games, so I challanged my friends to some of this. I came up with a couple of things to do:

    Take off the pilot's clothes. Shave him using the razor. Baste him in maple syrup. Coil the rope. Soak it with Bacardi. Set the thing on fire. Roast the pilot. Optional: use the Alarm Clock as a timer or add pieces of inner tube to the fire for added flavor.

    Soak your Sleeping Bag with Bacardi. Get in. Set it on fire. Enjoy your toasty nap.

    Cut up the Canvas. Cut through half of Inner Tube's diameter. Soak the canvas in Bacardi. Stuff the soaked Canvas into the Inner Tube, making sure to fill up the whole tube. Tie the rope around the Inner Tube, making sure to seal off the lacerated section. Set the Inner Tube on Fire. Run around swinging the whole mess, idealy, as far away from you as possible.

    Mix the Bacardi into the Maple Syrup. Find a bear. Serve the mix to the bear. The sugar will attract him, and the alcohol will make him willing to perform your biding. Ride the bear to safety. Optional: Use the flashlight as a Rectal Bear Steering Mechanism or RBSM for short.

    Cut a length of rope (about ten feet). Soak it in Maple Syrup. Stick it to your head. Cover it with Bacardi. Set your head on fire. Run around screaming. Optional: Soak pieces of Canvas in Maple Syrup. Stick onto your body. Cover with Bacardi. Set your body on fire.

    Embed the Snowshoes into the snow/ground. Cut apart the Inner Tube. Tie the tube around both Snowshoes, forming a slingshot. Launch small rocks at birds or various other small mammals. Optional: Shoot the Compass at bears.

    Last, but not least: Heap everything even remotely flammable (including the pilot) into a large heap. Cover with Bacardi. Set it ablaze and bask in its warmth and comforting glow.

printable version
chaos

Eating icicles to avoid dehydration survival Getting drinking water from bamboo quinzee
shaving Bacardi compass The balloon of the mind
maple syrup Rope toasty
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