| Humans are known for taking stupid decisions and acting without thinking. Here is a short list of truly stupid wars that happened on Earth.
Poor Paraguay
In 1864, Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina allied to invade Paraguay simply because they thought their president was too arrogant. At the end of the war, of the 600,000 population, only 220,000 were still alive and only 29,000 males. The president is effectively killed. The three invading countries prepared to erase Paraguay from the map but Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina almost started another war for the sharing. So they decided to leave Paraguay alone. Ah.
The Chaco war
Only a few years are needed for Paraguay to turn to his other neighbor: Bolivia. The Standard Oil company was working in Bolivia and Shell was working in Paraguay. Both companies imagined there was oil in the desertic region of Chaco, which is located between the two countries. Between 1932 and 1935, a terrible war waged on. The two corporations armed the population of Bolivia and Paraguay (just like they did elsewhere too). But the Chaco region is so vast and hostile that the two armies almost never met. Sickness and hunger won the war but an international conference decided that the winner was Paraguay (the British Shell corporation). So Shell investigated and din't find a single drop of oil in Chaco.
Ten years later, the two mega-corporations started over again with two new countries: Peru and Ecuador. In 1941, the oil companies smelled oil in a region near the shared border. Shell with Ecuador and Standard Oil with Peru. Ding ding! This time, Peru wins the war. The standard Oil investigated but, what an ironic coincidence, didn't find a single drop of oil there either.
Lucky Bolivia
In 1860, a Bolivian dictator named Melgarejo humiliated the British ambassador (he forced him to travel through the capital on the back of a mule). The queen Victoria was enraged and declared war on Bolivia. Imagine this conversation:
"- But Your Majesty, our nearest troops are at almost 2000 miles of the Bolivian border.
- Well, then, send the ships, as we always do!
- Yes but... Bolivia doesn't have a single border with the sea. We will have to invade another country (which did nothing to us) in order to attack them.
The legend says that the Victoria queen angrily crossed the country off the map and said "Bolivia no longer exists!"
The Taiping war
The Taiping revolt of 1851 in China was the most bloody civil war in the world. China was then in an almost perpetual civil war between different dynasties, warlords and peasant revolts. But the story of Hong Xiuquan is particular. A mediocre student, he finds the Christian religion, still new at this time in China, and becomes completely crazy. He's sure he is the brother of Jesus Christ and that he must continue the unfinished work of his brother by being crucifed. Xiuquan becomes really popular with the peasants and declares war against the powerful Manchu dynasty. He will conquer a good third of the country and will keep it for 13 years, until the Emperor, backed by the Occident, starts conquering back the territory. Hong Xiuquan finally suicided (let me tell you his brother wasn't happy). At the end of the adventure, 10 to 20 millions of Chineses were dead because of his craziness.
Oops! I didn't see your country.
This is maybe the most stupid war that didn't even take place. In the 90s, a border guard of Lichtenstein woke up in the middle of the night to find his house surrounded by tanks, well-armed soldiers roaming the nearby hills. The Swiss army invaded Lichtenstein, without any declaration of war! The guard goes to an officer:
- What the hell are you doing here?!
- Well, military training, just like we do every year in Switzerland.
- But you're not in Switzerland, you're in Lichtenstein!
- Erm... Oh... Really...? {he checks his map}
You see, the border between these two small countries is not clearly defined and the Swiss army didn't see anything special. Since Lichtenstein is only 10 kilometers large, the Swiss army had already crossed the entire territory before it could warn the other following units. An invasion, even by error, is a true casus belli. It was a scandal and the Swiss lived in fear for months that Lichtenstein would invade them.
The Cakes war
The first war between Mexico and France, but nobody seems to remember it. A French cook is humiliated in Mexico so the French King Louis-Philippe decided to send a punitive expedition. Finding there the dreaded Santa Anna fleet, the French won rapidly and easily. The cook was indemnified and the French army returned where they came from.
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