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Song of Beaky

created by ToasterLeavings

(thing) by ToasterLeavings (3.8 wk) (print)   ?   4 C!s I like it! Thu May 19 2005 at 5:25:04

8000 years of uninterrupted battle from the distant past into the dubious future

Beaky undergoes further endangerment

Beaky attacked the swarthy legions of Dr. Handperson with a hitherto unknown ferocity, and unexpected quantities of links. Handperson's erstwhile crusaders for justice and cardboard fell back in dismay from Beaky's onslaught, tripping over the spilled paper shreddings of those who had previously been their comrades in legs. Legs which would twitch annoyingly no more now during the long lonely night times of devotion and drool. Beaky's shield of Optimistic Endangerment through Violent Engagement allowed no retribution from the hap deprived paper-based legions, flashing in that bright day hither and to, but mostly hither, foiling all attempts to skewer him upon the scribbling swords of motivational euthanasia. Slashing attacks subtly laced with procrastination based vitriols were also blocked.

One henchA4loadpapererror bubbled in terror as Beaky's two-handed sword of Ambivalent Sexuality and Brownian Motion decended upon him or her. The dread sword cleaved through that Dr. Handperson's cleverly arranged defence personnel molecule collection like butter through something softer, destroying all hopes and dreams that had ever been hoped and dreamt in that grey minded quasi-automaton. Beaky sang the song of cleaving all the while, also with hummed sections from the dirty ditty of smiting, and the last verse of the evisceration national anthem. Beaky briefly considered the ramifications of employing both his default brightly shining shield and a stereotypically dread two-handed sword, but concluded in characteristic cheery baritone:

"THIS IS BENEATH MY CONCERN, FOR AM I NOT BEAKY?"

From a distant vantage point, possibly in the air or a space station, the clash would seem like or appear to be a dirty sea of recycled paper functionaries, dashed against an indomnitable rock of beaked puissance. Beaky considered the word puissance as he ripped the fibrous head from yet another drab foe. Beaky reminded himself to look the word up after he had defeated Dr. Handperson eight thousand years in the future. At which time there would be a day of rest.

The saga of Beaky will continue after either a day, or eight thousand years of rest, whichever would be better at the time.

--->Beaky Makes a Friend


printable version
chaos

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