Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Size does matter

created by mayzie

(idea) by Footprints (1.4 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Jan 25 2001 at 20:50:03

I was standing in line in the Pharmacy today, when I picked up several items. It was amusing, I thought, that the smallest one was the cheapest, and the biggest the most expensive. So I asked the (female) clerk if they charged according to size. The friend I was with (also female) said "What? Size doesn't matter." And the clerk said, knowingly: "It does." And then she added, even more knowingly: "Believe me, size does matter."

I hate that attitude in women, and in people in general. It's true, size matters. Size matters alot. What can we do? Only most people don't understand how. I really wanted to ask her "So how big is your vagina?"

Even the person who wrote the Kama Sutra realized there are differently sized penises and differently sized vaginas. In the Kama Sutra, penises and vaginas are classed into three groups each (you can check exactly which, just follow the link). According to him, the best fit is when each size meets the relative size of the opposite sex. Then they match. The worst is when a hippo meets a rabbit (or whatever animals they have there - big penis, small vagina is what I mean).

So what matters about size is the fit. Not the realtive size. Get it into your heads. A big penis is not automatically good. The bigger it is, the more women it is likely to hurt, and in more positions. A small vagina is the female equivalent of a big penis, only you don't see it from the outside. Just like women talking about how great a big cock is, there are guys who talk about a tight pussy. A man who needs a tight pussy probably has a small penis. A woman who loves big cocks probably has a big vagina. And that's fine. To each, his own.

But it's important to realize that absolute size is unimportant, and size matters both ways. And what matters is how they are together, not apart.


(idea) by K9 (10 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Feb 08 2001 at 12:02:49

Why does it matter? Let's put Jane in the female corner and Dick in the male corner.

Jane: Of course size matters, big ones are important for my satisfaction.
Dick: That's unfair. As a straight man I have no idea of whether my penis is relatively big or relatively small. There's no real way for me to find out, either.
Jane: That's hardly my problem, is it? If you're not big enough, you're not big enough. Nothing either of us can do about it.
Dick: If it were too big, would it hurt you?
Jane: Oh yes.
Dick: So, you want to be hurt?
Jane: No, I want it big, but not too big.
Dick: You want perfection?
Jane: No, I, well, I want something in the right area, at least.
Dick: Did you know that studies at the Kinsey Institute have proved that your vagina grows slacker with every lover you take? It's as if I have to compensate for your sexual history.
Jane: Just as your penis will grow larger with age, but lessen in potency. What are you getting at here?
Dick: I don't know. I just feel that I'd be acting like a sexist prick if I told you that your breasts were too small or that your thighs were too fat, but you seem perfectly entitled to tell me that my penis is too small. How does that work?
Jane: That, Dick old son, is just the way it is.

I apologise to all devoted Dick and Jane readers for the absence of Spot the Dog, but he didn't really have much to add.


printable version
chaos

Kama Sutra Things guys think girls should know dicksize war More hips!
girth big dick Pussy fart Penis size anxiety
Roman sexuality D cup I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them fisting
Sorry about the small penis penis envy The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics Dick and Jane
Why chocolate is better than sex Kinds of Sexual Union According to Dimensions, Force of Desire or Passion, Time circumcision Dead cat bounce
Heart flutterings hurt more as I age The Kinsey Institute bra size pussy
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
The best nodes of all time:
watermelon
Rainer Maria Rilke
Replaceable Parts
Song for Leaving
Israel/Palestine: Hopes for Peace
If an Agent Knocks - Federal Investigators and Your Rights
Could a baby eat another baby?
Being a foreign female in Japan
Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
Hosokawa Morihiro
Song of the Sausage Creature
STENDEC
pancakes
New Writeups
octillion369
Frost wyrm(person)
kalen
Three "T"s(idea)
octillion369
Undead(idea)
archiewood
Ico(fiction)
Heisenberg
Why I love Everything2(log)
octillion369
Death Knight(person)
XWiz
Are you hoping for a miracle?(review)
santo
The Host(review)
LostPsion
"Shut the Fuck Up" Theaters(idea)
Vanish
The line between normal and not(place)
Vanish
insanity(thing)
beatrice
You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?(idea)
Berek
YouTube(thing)
shaogo
How to Pretend to Have a Job(idea)
hapax
Les Provinciales(review)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company