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Poor poor vision

created by olmanrvr

(idea) by olmanrvr (2.5 wk) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Apr 24 2001 at 1:20:51

I knew quite young that I couldn't see good...but on eye tests, I cheated. That's right, I cheated.

Several decades ago, elementary school eye tests were simply a teacher with an arrow-like sign, and she would stand far away and point it in different directions. You had to point the same way she did. I cheated. I memorized the pattern she used and when it was my turn, I just pointed the way they did before me. I failed.

Many years later, still blind as a bat, I went out for the football team. Now, believe it or not, this was in the days before contacts; Even before they would let you wear glasses under your helmet. So without glasses, and with poor, poor vision, I tried out for defensive back. When someone on our team intercepted a pass, he was immediately to yell, oskie-waa-waa . This alerted everyone on his team to realize we needed to turn and block the other way. Well, this one kid forgot to yell; I saw someone coming and I tackled him; My own team mate! The coach runs over and yells at me,"What are you, blind man?".

Needless to say, from that day on, my nickname was blindman. Even in the high school yearbook, it read, "Blind without his glasses". Even to this day, I'll run into people who can't remember my name, and they'll say, "Aren't you blindman?".

Yes, I am. By the way, I made the team.


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