| I just walked into the men's restroom here at work, and now my shoes are covered with sticky piss goop from the tile floor. This is normal...it happens every time I walk into any restroom. But this time I paid attention to where the piss goop became attached to my shoes, and I was quite surprised at what I discovered.
The piss goop was just inside the door of the restroom!!
Now what kind of madness is this, I ask you? I cannot imagine why any sane person would piss on the bathroom floor right in front of the door. What goes through the mind of a person like this? Do they think to themselves, "Hmm, I think I'll just unzip and relieve myself on this floor RIGHT HERE because I'm too lazy to actually make the journey all the way to the urinal."? And what happens when another guy walks in to use the restroom while this person is pissing on the floor? What then?
Guy #1: I think I'll piss on the floor! (unzips and begins pissing on floor).
Guy #2: (walking in) Hi Guy #1! Pissing on the old floor again, I see. Mind if I join you?
Guy #1: Join the party!
Guy #2: zzzip....pisssssssssssssssssssssssss...
Ha, not likely! In fact, a more realistic exchange would probably go something like this:
Guy #1: I think I'll piss on the floor! (unzips and begins pissing on floor).
Guy #2: (walking in) Holy shit. What the fuck is wrong with you? What do you think you're doing? This bathroom is MY territory! I already marked it yesterday!
(fight scene)
I think it's safe to say that males are still bound by ancient instinctual territorial agression. | 
