On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers

created by Jet-Poop

(person) by Jet-Poop (7.2 hr) (print) ? (I like it!) 2 C!s Thu Aug 10 2000 at 4:55:53

Back in the days when I could afford to subscribe to "Premiere" magazine, I was often able to predict, before even opening the magazine, what at least one of the letters to the editor would be about: some actress who appeared on the cover of the mag in a sexy pose wearing low-cut/tight/skin-baring clothing. The tone of the letter often mixed left-wing feminist rhetoric ("How dare you objectify Julia Roberts!") with right-wing fear of sex ("How dare you show Salma Hayek's cleavage!"), while missing the obvious point that, if they wanted to see Sandra Bullock wearing something properly zipped up to the chin, they should've been reading "Good Housekeeping".

Of course, whenever some shirtless hunk appeared on the cover, the letters column was filled to the rim with "Oh God! Brad Pitt! Wearing a thong! Ohhh GOD! Mmm! Unh! Oh, YES! Oh JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YES!"

Sometimes someone would even read the articles and comment on them, too. Boy, that was a red letter day...

If someone asks you if you're a god, you say, "Yes!"	Why oh why did the black crayon always die first?	Alternatives to "Oh Shit!" when visiting the Great Aunts	I'm the most off-beat genius you ever knew; I'm so iconoclastic I'm clastic
You're dripping liquid sex into my Cherry Coke	Britney Spears	Premiere	A rambling letter to the girl I met years ago
Women are turned on verbally, men are turned on visually	Premiere Magazine	Salma Hayek	EuroMillions
cleavage	Letters I've written, never meaning to send	Ob/gyn	Oh, that it were so simple. That I could just utter those words.
Sandra Bullock	Noder's Block	scantily clad	Julia Roberts
So why talk about politics now	No one says anything important during the day	Fear of sex is the power of rape	three letter acronym

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