"Do you
promise to attempt to dominate and subdue this woman until such time as you grow
bored?"
"Maybe."
"Close enough. And do you promise to applaud this man`s production until such time as you find someone with a bigger... corporation?"
"Whatever."
"By the power vested in me by having scammed you guys out of a marriage license fee, I now pronounce you man and appendage. May you be unencumbered by small persons."