Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

My roommates have ordered throwing stars

created by ApoxyButt

(idea) by ApoxyButt (9 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Jul 06 2000 at 3:58:40

Yeah, throwing stars. I guess they found a place online that sells traditional eastern weaponry for cheap, and so the first thing they do when the first paycheck comes through is to buy a 12-pack of shuriken. I can't think of a single reason why, except maybe to deal with all the ninjas.

I hear that ninja infestation is becoming quite a problem these days. Sure, I've had pretty extensive training in the martial arts, so they don't bother me much. You know, once in a while you'll find one dangling from the ceiling by his grappling hook or a dead one in the toilet, but it's never anything major. I guess my roommates just lack the training to deal with them properly. They called the landlord, but he's no help. They send somebody to spray once a month, but that guy obviously doesn't know what he's doing. Everybody knows that if you see one, there's probably hundreds lurking just out of sight. Hence the throwing stars, I guess.

Now that I think about it, there's really nothing more embarassing than bringing a girl home and trying to set a romantic mood only to have her wrinkle her nose and say, "Oh... you've got ninjas..." Maybe I'll just have to order me a set of those throwing stars, too.


printable version
chaos

butterfly knife ninja infestation I got peanut butter on my ninja pants You've got an underdeveloped sense of vengeance
Alex Chiu's Immortality Device shuriken throwing star How to remove roommates from showers
taco shell shrapnel Weekend Warrior incendiary bomb ninja
Boot camp balisong Evil.com If we weren't doing business, I'd fuck your brains out
Erotic nodes Tennessee Dammit! I can't win GeoCities
Upright Citizens Brigade Don't be afraid, you've just got your eyes closed Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ (Corpus Christi) OS/2
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Look at this mess the Death Borg made!
Bill Finger
Cartoran Empire
Josephine Baker
gongfu cha
Nodeshell as a term has got to go
Darryl Strawberry
J2EE
LZ Waterloo
Confusing parable about fish
space
R.E.M. ordering breakfast at Denny's at 3 AM
Cypherpunk
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
New Writeups
LostPsion
"Shut the Fuck Up" Theaters(idea)
Vanish
The line between normal and not(place)
beatrice
You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?(idea)
Berek
YouTube(thing)
shaogo
How to Pretend to Have a Job(idea)
hapax
Les Provinciales(review)
zoeb
The Scene(review)
aneurin
Telephone Numbers for drama purposes(idea)
Alnilamski
Cosmicopolis(fiction)
eien_meru
measure(idea)
Dreamvirus
pussy willow(thing)
czeano
Three "T"s(idea)
UncleM
Vantage Point 2: Fractal Thread Count(idea)
LostPsion
First Fiction: Night(fiction)
Lysander Peregrine
How to Pretend to Have a Job(idea)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company