It was one of those times where my brain was twenty minutes too late.
The doorbell rang. "Wow!" I thought. "Maybe it's some salesman peddling high-quality wares!"
"Hi there! My name is Bob, and I'm up from the United States doing my missionary work. I was just wonderin', do you know The Lord's Prayer?"
"Oh fan-freaking-tastic," I thought, "a JW."
But all I said was,
"No."
"Oh. Um, heh. Well, why don't I just leave you
this."
I took it, if only to speed his impending departure. As soon as I left, I leafed through his tract so as to titter at what a crazy mixed-up world it is in which we all live, and then I ripped it up. Then I went back to making my lunch.
But twenty minutes too late, I realized what I should have said.
"Okay, man, I'll take your tract. But first, I want to tell you about my best friend, Josh. Now, I know you've never met Josh. Actually, I've never met Josh, but he's still my best friend. Let me tell you why.
"One day I was walking down the street and I saw some graffiti. It said:
Dear World,
If you be my best friend, I will build you a house.
Love, Josh.
"I thought, Damn, sweet deal! All I have to do is be Josh's best friend, and he'll build me a house! So right there on the spot, I accepted Josh as my best friend.
"Now, in order to be Josh's best friend, I have to only act the way he thinks I should act, and not do things Josh thinks aren't cool. Since I haven't met him, for these essential clues I look for other graffiti which is signed 'Josh.' Sure, I don't know how or when he'll build me the house, but because of that graffiti I have faith in him.
"I guess you'd probably think I was pretty crazy for waiting around for Josh to build me a house. And you'd probably think even less of me if I asked you to accept Josh right now as your best friend for your own good. I mean, it's a pretty weak pitch.
"Now, what if I told you that Josh was
...invisible...
...filled the universe with his power...
...and instead of a house he was going to give me eternal life?
"What the heck kind of pitch is that?"