Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Just try to avoid the wracking temptation to eat raw cookie dough

created by legbagede

(idea) by DJuxtaposition (11 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Sun Oct 22 2000 at 3:37:46

A nodeshell commando action

Everyone tries their hand at baking at one point or another. But I can't. I can't bake delicious morsels anymore.

I have to stop making the food before the food unmakes me

What exactly are the consequences of eating raw eggs? I dunno, but I don't want to find out either, so I'd better try to cut back. My addiction started when I was much younger. I used to bake brownies for snacks while my parents were asleep. They didn't mind. I could handle myself in the kitchen, even when I was fairly young... But on one fateful day, after I had made the brownies and was putting the bowls away, my mom asked me, "Honey, don't you want to lick the bowl?"

Lick the bowl? That's crazy talk!

"Ummm... okay."

She handed me a spoon, and scraped a little brownie mix into a tiny dollop on the end of it and handed it to me. With that first bite, my journey to the dark side of confectionery was complete. I woke up earlier and earlier in the morning I baked more brownies and ate less. The brownies began to become thinner and thinner as time passed. I once even passed up cooking entirely, taking a quarter gallon of milk and a whole bowl of mix and making myself as sick as a dog (I don't think 10 year olds' bodies are supposed to hold as much brownie mix as I had in me). My addiction caused me to spread my baking wings and start up on other forms of food. Licking the bowl was like a gateway drug for baking. I started making pies, and truffles, baklava, and cookies... oh the cookies.... Much like the brownies, I could just eat a whole bowl of cookie mix... Chocolate chip mix, with fudge syrup instead of chips, is highly recommended.

I swear though, that it's not safe to get into a habit of this. Once you start making brownies, making cookies, making confections... Never lick the bowl unless you want to end up like me. Just... even if you've had it before. Just try to avoid the wracking temptation to eat raw cookie dough, or brownie mix, or lemon pie filling, or... ooh, lemon pie filling...

*Runs off with a wooden spoon*


printable version
chaos

The hidden danger of school lunch programs Vegan Banana-Oat Chocolate Chip Cookies Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't. I wish you could have met me before I became food
baklava Cookie Recipes I don't own a microwave double chocolate chip muffins
Spooky action at a distance You'll come to a sticky end September 11, 2001 bad apples on the family tree
Loon's Loonie Bin O' Singing and Dancing Noders Nodeshell, Nodeshell, give me your answer, do. Ben & Jerry's ice cream cookie dough
Out here on the perimeter, there are no stars Cookie Monster Munch aspirin Exploding Dog
Applying to a British University Raspberry Thumbprints tachyphagia That's just crazy talk
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Things you could have written:
Things to consider when choosing a Martial Art
Jane's Fighting Nodes
Critique of Pure Reason
Cryptic Crossword Clue Types
The Three Men I Admired Most: Manhattan, 9/11/01
Soul Train
The Lord's Prayer
Electoral College
Marketing plans for fish scented deodorant
London's calling, and it's calling you gay
Kahlil Gibran
Klein bottle
E2 lyrics noding standard
New Writeups
beatrice
You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?(idea)
Berek
YouTube(thing)
shaogo
How to Pretend to Have a Job(idea)
hapax
Les Provinciales(review)
zoeb
The Scene(review)
aneurin
Telephone Numbers for drama purposes(idea)
Alnilamski
Cosmicopolis(fiction)
eien_meru
measure(idea)
Dreamvirus
pussy willow(thing)
czeano
Three "T"s(idea)
UncleM
Vantage Point 2: Fractal Thread Count(idea)
LostPsion
First Fiction: Night(fiction)
Lysander Peregrine
How to Pretend to Have a Job(idea)
antigravpussy
Our music, in place of breadcrumbs, is there to help us find our way back home(idea)
t3h_poker
She tastes like gingerbread, too.(fiction)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company