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Introducing yourself to the small-breasted woman

created by Rancid_Pickle

(idea) by Rancid_Pickle (3.3 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 4 C!s Fri Nov 03 2000 at 17:26:40

Over the years (decades?) I've had a lot of experience meeting wonderful women, including women of all shapes, sizes, mass, volume and temporal and mental stabilities.

As a helpful guide, I will attempt to give you advice on how to introduce yourself to a small-breasted woman.

  • DO:
    Confidently introduce yourself. Treat her like she is the focus of your universe. Ignore background clutter and gossip.

  • DON'T:
    Say "excuse me, Mister, you have a sister here?" and then wander off looking for big hooters.

  • DO:
    Talk to her to find common interests. Despite common thinking, a woman's essence does not start at the nipples and progress backwards. Look at her face, especially her eyes. A woman's eyes can be very expressive.

  • DON'T:
    Comment on her lack of clevage, or say, "Ya know, you can get 36-HH implants for those."

  • DO:
    Compliment her on her attire or her hair. Avoid cliche lines. Mention an item she is wearing, such as, "That is a very interesting and masterfully crafted brooch, is it an heirloom?"

  • DON'T:
    Say things like, "Where you hiding those titties?"

  • DO:
    People can be very sensitive about their bodies. Some women feel unhappy about their breast size because they are under the same delusion as men: large breasts does not make a woman a woman. Avoid looking at her chest or commenting on her breast size. Focus yourself on getting to know her, because that is what you build relationships on.

  • DON'T:
    Say stupid shit like, "Well, I guess a hot tit-fuck on the pool table is out of the question."

  • DO:
    A woman's smile and hair is just as attractive across a crowded room as large breasts. Also, if you start a relationship with her, the boorish morons will be off forlornly looking for giant tits while you enjoy yourself with a wonderful woman.

  • DON'T:
    Act as though she is wearing a +12 Cloak of Invisibility. Don't grab her crotch to see if she is female.

  • DO:
    If you talk to her and find she is funny, charming and intelligent, ask her out somewhere. You may get a "no" now, but if you keep treating her right, you can get it changed to a "yes".

  • DON'T:
    Stare at her chest and say imbecilic things like, "I heard that more than a mouthful is a waste, but DAMN! You didn't have to go overboard!"

  • DO:
    Find common interests and mutual friends. These items can help build groundwork for more illuminating conversation, and mutual friends can help her feel more comfortable around you.

  • DON'T:
    Compare her to mutual friends: "Wow, if I put Sally's giant tits on your body, you'd be the ultimate fuck."

  • DO:
    Be chivalrous. Be an enjoyable part of the evening without monopolizing her time and acting like she's your property. Offer to refill her drink, or get her some refreshments. Open the door when she and you go through it. Help her with her coat, and if she is taking a taxi, offer her a ride home. She will most likely decline, so walk her out to the cab to make sure she gets in safe.

  • DON'T:
    Don't 'accidently' spill water on her white silk blouse to get a free wet t-shirt viewing to see if she has big nipples.


    Don't make breasts the focal point of your relationship, or there won't even be a relationship. Treat her like she's the intelligent, warm human being that she is. A small-breasted woman can do many things that a woman with huge breasts can only dream of, such as not wearing a bra under a T-shirt or going jogging without killing themselves. Small-breasted women do not have back problems caused by an overabundance of fat clustered on their chest. From personal experience, smaller-breasted women are wilder and more animated sexually, but this is not a general rule.

    Meet the woman, find a friend and companion. Meet the breasts and go home alone and watch porno in your underwear at your mom's house. The choice is yours.


    See also Introducing Yourself to the Large-Breasted Woman


  • printable version
    chaos

    Introducing yourself to the large-breasted woman alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb Anything more than a mouthful is a waste No hair = No friends
    Can of Sprite as a Weapon of Choice The Apocrypha of Muad'Dib Being Asian is rather like having large breasts Fuck me harder
    The Tao of Steve flat-chested Walk behind a woman Getting hit by a woman
    The Raven (The Edgar Allan Porn version) Things one should do while naked How to pick up hot red headed chicks What is wrong with my breasts?
    Did You Fuck Her? Manual of Common Tasks for Lieutenants and Captains bigger breasts Introducing yourself to the one-breasted woman
    Virginia is for Lovers Wet T-shirts and hot summers: a fifteen year old's definition of love Brooch chivalrous
    No more writeups are being accepted for this node. ...there's not much more to say, really. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.
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