I am the God of Static Electricity and Vibrators

Patron Saint, maybe, but not a god.

You think it's fun? Do you actually think I enjoy being the Patron Saint of Static Electricity? Want to see what it's like?

A grounding strip is my handcuff. Powering the flashbulb on a camera by touching it, while innovative, does become a bit painful after you do it twenty times or so. I can't get on trampolines, and I haven't, not since I was 5 and zapped myself silly. Ever seen the movie Powder? Think like that, only a bit more painful.

Please, try to have sympathy for all us who have these abilities, but suffer for having them;

• The Rain God, last seen in a Douglas Adams book.
• The oh god of Hangovers, courtesy of Terry Pratchett.
• Me.

(sniffles) I really hate being alone like this...