Human, the other white meat

What have we got against people? We stab/shoot/strangle/burn/suffocate/drown/bludgeon/poison each other to death on a daily basis with gay abandon.

...And we don't even have the common decency and good manners to eat each other? That's just wrong. I've known cats and dogs with more inherent value than certain people. Hell, a lot of them are even smarter, so don't come that "we're just too important to eat" crap with me.

Fur! What's the biggest problem with the fur trade? Not eating the damn carcass. Little cute furry animals are killed for the sole purpose of skinning them and wearing parts of their dead body, and this is inherently maddening to celebrities and other members of the ranks of the criminally insane. Hell, when was the last time you saw someone in a human skin suit? We don't even kill people for that much reason.

I really think we need to get over ourselves. We can only occupy pedestal space for so long, and then all that pidgeon crap and graffiti will start to overwhelm us. After all, it's in our damn nature to be carnivorous. That's the message that's continually thrust into my brain with no large amount of justification or explanation.

Sure, we build stuff. Great. That puts us on a par with termites. We can eat them!

I can hear the rabidly screamed arguments based upon the shaky underpinnings of altruism already. I'm not saying we should murder people to eat them (yet). That would make us....umm...like people, murdering *things* to eat them, just with *things* replaced by the word people. That sounds pretty bad! I'm glad we don't do that....oh, wait.

I'm not a big murder advocate. I tend to dissapprove of the whole idea on most days. Sure, some people might want to apply my reasonable proposal to planned culling of humans, but they'll need to convince me for about five minutes before I'll sign up. But what about roadkill? What about accidental death? Hell, people sign cards legally entitling Doctors to rip out the most marketable organs, and give the rest to Med students to laugh at, and carve their initials upon. Even without a human meat lottery system, we'll have plenty to chow down on.

There's no scarcity of us. If we go...pretty much everything else is going to go to, so let's just not even bother with extinction issues. We're a renewable resource! We're born relatively domesticated! And WE DIE ALL THE TIME! I just can't believe nobody has thought of this before.

I don't even want to hear the arguments pandering to the feelings of the loved ones of the deceased and how they might feel about the whole idea. There are people who cry themselves to sleep because Dolphins can't seem to figure out that whole net concept. I don't see their feelings being considered in any non-commercial sense unrelated to marketing strategies. If the grieving relatives don't want to eat uncle Irving, then they sure as hell won't be made to. They can eat somebody else!

It's only fair, and I was always taught that fairness is something we should strive for.

We are all meat for the beast

The main problem other than a cultural abhorrence of eating human flesh, is its inability to pass most food safety standards, humans while being far from poisonous are at least partially toxic. I don't mean just in the personality department ethier.

Several things to consider. Most food chains -the web of life type, not the ™ type - eventually lead to creating the mountainous wealth of human flesh. OK, maybe that is both types of food chain but nonetheless... At each trophic level, heavy metals and fat-soluble synthetic poisons accumulate.

People aren't wild - though can perhaps be considered free range. They aren't raised for consumption under controlled conditions, and they frequently have a worse diet than the animals we already eat. Cannibalism or more accurately anthrophagy has the same risks as a vector for mad cow disease and other prion caused contagious diseases of the nervous system.

But never fear Fine Young Cannibals, safety tips are at hand :

• Avoid the fatty deposits, internal organs, especially the liver, and any parts of the nervous system.
• Avoid Americans, you don't want to know what they eat.
• Stick to the young. Eat lower on the food chain. It's better for the environment. Eat vegetarians.