How to dispose of a corpse

http://www.celestis.com/

This service provides:

The launch of a symbolic portion of the cremated remains into Earth orbit

Flight capsule imprinted with personal message

Invitation to the launch event

Personalized video of launch event and memorial ceremony

Dedicated virtual memorial of the deceased on our web site

Contribution to the Celestis Foundation

Performance assurance

http://www.eternalreefs.com/

Eternal Reefs, Inc. was formed to provide an ecologically sound option for dispersal of cremation remains. By integrating the remains into artificial reefs in various oceans and seas around the world, we seek to provide "Permanent Living Memorials" that are ecologically sound for our environment and cost effective for the consumer.

If you have come by this corpse through foul play and you'd rather not have anyone know that you have it, the best thing to do is to wrap it in a cloth of canvas or other organic material (to prevent dripping), drop it in the bathtub, and pour copious amounts of Drano on it. Drano's whole reason for existance is to dissolve organic material. I'm not sure if it will dissolve teeth and bones, but I suspect so. Jurph has pointed out that lime and lye, which are also highly basic, will work just as well and can be purchased in bulk. If you try this, let me know how it works.

1. Cut the corpse into six pieces, for transportability.
2. Remove or crush the teeth and clip or burn off long hair.
3. Drop the corpse parts into a pig-pen with 16 full grown pigs who haven't eaten in 48 hours.
4. Wait about 8 minutes.
5. Ding. Done.

Beware of pig farmers, and those who know where pig farms are located.

Thanks to "Brick Top", Alan Ford, and Guy Ritchie.