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Getting to know you noders fucking sucked

created by ToasterLeavings

(idea) by ToasterLeavings (16.2 hr) (print)   ?   42 C!s I like it! Fri Jun 23 2000 at 15:47:42

Fact: All you guys actually fucked me alright. I never got a chance here really.

Fact: hell yes, I am an actually vegetarian and TREE hugging wanker as that guy pointed out in the noad, and its for the best of my selfish reasons. Except for I am not a wanker, I can get every CHICK I want too. When you and the professor and the nerd gang finally technologically innovation the world to a hideous fucked up death, and destroy the fucking basis of all gravity or some other fuckingly important thing, and the atmosphere flies off into the hideous voidness of space, and YOU try to hold onto a TREE, I'LL really be holding onto that TREE already, and you'll be all like

"fuck man, let me hold onto that tree cause i'm being sucked into space"

and i'll be like

"fuck you man, just fucking fuck off and die, i hate you"

and you'll hold onto the tree anyway, and a fucking COW will come and BITE your fucked up WEAK NERDY HAND, and you'll be saying

"fuck..oww..that hurt...aaaaaaaarrrgg"

and then you'll fly off into the fucking zero degree wondery bliss of absolute spacely vacuum, and i'll be like

"fucking hahahah, now you want to love the tree...COCK!"

and the cow will be like

"MOOOOOo"

which is the way THE COW will really intend to inform YOU that

"you are indeed now officially fucked up!! you COW eating BITCH FACE, and yeah!!! that's for eating cows, and i hope you like your new dark empty pasture of freezing and POPPING EYEBALLS..and see you ...well, fucking never...COCK!"

... but just in a shorter COW language which they have cause science proved it.

Fact: Expect another fucking facts, even if you don't like the truth because its damn being told.

Fact: If I hear one extra fanboy say napster one more time, I will fucking destroy all gravity myself, even if I hold strong opinions about the world which suggest I should not do this. I am that very fucking serious.

Fact: Humans are the single species most likely to survive into the future, and I want no actual fucking part of that. Humans are also the species most likely to cause all the other species to be fucked right in the ass of extinction.

I would only want a part of that if it only applied to pidgeons, because i fucking hate those wing rats, because they are the animal in the world most like people because they shit in cities and they have stupid mating rituals, and they fucking suck.
There were fucking dinosaurs once man, and they all fucking DIED. Do you know why they died? No, you don't, because if you are about to 'COMET' this, or 'ICE AGE' that I WILL FUCKING PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS OR OTHER GENITALS.
They fucking died because they had IMAGINATION, and foreskins, no I mean forethink, and they created in their fucking tiny yet apparently really good brains an imagination of something they called 'GglaaaarGGGG', which was their word for PEOPLE, and they just fucking DIED IN SHEAR HORROR at the stuff that 'GlaaaaarGGGG' would oneday pile up on the fucked up corpse of the world they really liked a fucking big amount. Science proved this and its true because it was on a flyer.
It used to have trees man, really big trees that looked like ferns but being a lot bigger!! And they knew you would just fuck that up because you wanted to invention a toothbrush and jack off to britney while your mum made some fucked up food-in-a-box commercial product to put in your mouth to shut up your whining so she could masturbate in private without you making stupid PIKACHU noises and fucking up her G spot moment. Even your mother will probably bite your tree hand when you destroy all gravity, that is how sucked you are.

Fact: Dinosaurs knew that 'GlaaaaaarGGGG' would invent film clips for music, and they thought that was ok, cause hot girls in spandex is good, but then they knew that you would also make art movies and films with french people who stare at each other without even saying one fucked up french speaking word while smoking a cigarette for 3 fucking days and that people watching the movie would clap and weep for fucking joy. That was the other reason that dinosaurs used to kill themselves with shear horror.

Fact: That's a fact, Jack! That was in a movie.called Stripes and it isnt bad. Sometimes I watch it and it prevents me from destroying all gravity.

Fact: You all voted on me and it was going down. I made good noads, and with true facts. There is an uncle of mine named Bob and his cock is large. You cannot tell me that this is not true, because i have seen it many times. You would not know talent if it is your mother and you were fucking it with a close up camera like they have on the webnet. That is what you would call a metaphor or simily or possibly a type of thing that is what it means by the powers of suggestion alone, if you knew words like you said.

Fact: Linex does suck ass and its not even actually free. That install program is broken because I have MICROSOFT 95 and it was working good and then i put a REDHAT in the hard cd drive and it all went fucked with stuff that looked like microsoft OLD DOS. Do I want to have PERLS installed, what sort of fucked question is that asking? I came actually very close to destroying gravity, but I still loved the planet.

Fact: Do not expect me to keep being here cause I am already gone. You were all hating me from the first time I came and talked to that cool bitch in the chat about my porn. And what was it wrong about making a noad of every word in Stripes?What even is namespacing? You said to me that this websight was everything, but I actually found out very soon that you meant everything that other people liked except for actually what I liked really. So fuck you all. If gravity is destroyed I will not kindly let you hold my fucking tree, and I will really tell my cow to beat you down like a fucking dog an actually big amount.

Fact: I bet this gets voting down because i sweared. Well, to that person who said porfanity is for people without many words, i have a word: fuck you!. Peace.


printable version
chaos

You noders still fucking suck, but your needing my wisdoms bad an ode to toasterleavings A survival guide for the professionally outraged - constructing umbrage from common household items Showing Everything to my Girlfriend
I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky? I am serving up and weildering triple secret fat ass flaming wisdoms, shit aint availing you, lamers of Edom! Why fucking cows is a bad idea E2 Sarcasm FAQ
Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers stripes Greenpeace Assassinate makes an ass out of ass, I, and Nate
adulthood My uncle says that smoking crack is kinda cool How to get your stuff voted up Atheists should read The Bible
SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY! I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up This Diamond Ring My dick fell asleep
Butterfinger McFlurry You, of course, are the exception Good old fashioned fucking Those who are the most intelligent are often the most likely to go insane
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