Fuck blame

created by juliet

(idea) by juliet (1 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 2 C!s Sun Feb 27 2000 at 15:30:08

I am sick of people placing blame, instead of taking responsibility for their actions. Especially when they displace blame onto other things, and then try to act like a victim.

I am on this support list for people with eating disorders. I don't really go their much, because it's nauseating. People are either trying to compete for the worst eating disorder, or to see who can be the most "sympathetic, and understanding".. but it's all saccrine.

It makes me kind of sick. These girls yell about how one who had a eating problem, can never diet again. How about moderation? They say things like "my family/boyfriend/society drove me to starve myself" .. no.. fuck that.. Did society take your finger and shove it down your throat til you puked? Get a spine, get some self-worth.

I was chastsied because my problem with eating was, I did it because I wanted to wear smaller clothes. It wasn't to please a boyfriend, gain control in a world gone mad, or an attempt to disapear. I didn't do it to cause pity, or gain the attention of parents who I felt were neglectful. I just wanted a smaller waist. I didn't do it til I was a waif, my life was never in danger.. I used it to maintain my weight. That was my objective.

The funny part is, I am considered a "bad seed" around that place. My sister put it best.. "I've lived life as a fat person, I've lived life as a thin one.. and it's just a hell of a lot easier when your thin". It's true. I dunno, I guess it pisses me off that they looked at me with disdain because I took responsibility for what I was doing, and I did it in a controlled way (yes, I know not the best way), and that I didn't have any hidden motives, nor was I crying martyr, or "victim". This all had to do with my own idea of perfection and acheiving it. I was the cause. I was the one who starved myself, no one/nothing but me.

At least I am strong enough to say it, I'm not proud of what I've done.. but I'm proud of not hiding any part of who I am, or what I've done. In life, I have made many mistakes.. but I learned lessons.. therefore regret is something I don't feel about anything.

(idea) by datagirl (2 mon) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Sun Feb 27 2000 at 17:21:05

Amen juliet.

I concur with your thoughts on the ED "support" systems that exist. I used to be in an Eating Disorder Support group. It was just a breeding ground for competition for the worst symptoms and to see who would be hospitalized the fastest. It was sick, it was wrong. I don't go there anymore.

I no longer am afflicted with the eating disorder that I chose. I say I chose it because nothing inflicted anything upon me but myself. I didn't really do it solely to lose weight, although I will admit that was one of my objectives. I mainly did it because I hated myself and used every possible device for self destruction at that time in my life. I didn't know how to deal with living and I didn't want to live. But I chose my path because I didn't know any better. People often do the things they do because they don't know any better.

It really disgusts me when people ask, "Well, what was your lowest weight?" As though that is the only true measure of your worth as a person in their eyes. It is ^wrong and it is _stupid And I am also not proud of the things I've done.

Yes get some self worth people

I know I am really not the person to say that, seeing as though self worth is something I am working on.. but it is true.

Although no one can give another person self worth, the world is currently propagating hoards _"victims" ... it is disgusting.
Also, it's not what has happened to you that makes you who you are, it is what you do about it and how you deal with it.

Until you're dead, it's all life.

that is my take on the situation, for what it's worth.

printable version
chaos

Marilyn Monroe was a size 16	Fuck me harder	Get the fuck out of my office	I miss you, damn you for being so damn amazing
There is nothing inside of you	Am I insane, or is it just wishful thinking?	accountability	Magazines should ban anorexic models
self worth	waif	Beauty and misery: A sick trend	eating disorder
I am scared	Fuck plate tectonics	Fat acceptance	self-destruction
August 11, 2003	fuck	manic-depression	What I learned about myself this year, 1999
Suburban Pornography	How do women's dress sizes work?	September 28, 2005	I sing banned Girl Scout songs

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