Dream Log: March 26, 2001

I was a cow.  I chewed on grass.  A lot.

What were you expecting?!  I was a COW, for God's sake.

I wonder what a psychologist would say this dream meant.

Moo.

my next door neighbor picks up my cat, sugar, and flings her around by her tail. a large section of said tail falls off as the cat goes winging through the air. i beat the ever-living shit out of him as i explain to him how he's ruined her whole concept of balance. sugar stumbles around drunkenly.

• It's a smack derivative: Taking smack with some friends. Normally, I wouldn't do that kind of thing. This was odd, though. It wasn't heroin. I'm not sure what it was, exactly, because nobody really knew what drug we were taking. It was moody, and somewhat pleasant. Well, I do drugs with friends. Logical extention. It may have been a reflection of my recent decision to back off on drug use. It's a funny decision, of course, because I'm so far from an abuser in every regard.
• Flying turtles: Oh, sure, it sounds neat. Turtles can fly, fish can sing, and rabbits really do lay eggs. But, I ask you, what do you do when a flying turtle hits your windshield as you barrel down the freeway doing 90 mph?

You and I exchanged verbal greetings, and there was the usual excitement in your eyes, but you didn't pounce me, you stayed where you were. Nothing in your body language indicated there were any issues, this is just your way. You are comfortable just existing with me, and you put on your social suit for everyone else. But...

You continued a conversation you were having with one of my sisters. I talked with someone else, keeping a longing eye on you, wanting you to pay attention to ME, your girlfriend. I knew we'd curl up later when we got home, but I still was wanting the calm, smooth conversation you have with friends. The price of seeing your interior was losing the bullshit Leo exterior, I guess. I know this is a good thing, that you show me who you really are...but it's hard for me to accept that loss since I tend to be superficial, and am used to judging a person and a relationship by looks, conversation, etc.

Five minutes later you were standing behind another sister, hands massaging her shoulders. Good conversation with her, it seemed, as your eyes were smiling. We still hadn't even hugged hello, and you're being physically close with her.

You weren't sleeping beside me when I woke up today, and I'm feeling the lonliness even more. A lot has transpired since the last time we saw each other, and I'm craving a chance to touch base and reconnect with you, to look into your eyes again, to tell each other everything's gonna work out. Yesterday I missed you so much I was nearly crying on the phone. *sigh*

I can break or change anyone's rules except for my own, it seems.

At this point, I'm still somewhat groggy. Things never really make sense to me the first 10-15 minutess I'm awake. In my mind, I see this lunatic taking a stick to my car... beating it, and happily blathering away all the while.

But, I was really too out of it to worry about my car at that point. I got up, made a trip to the bathroom, then came back to look out onto the street. No one.

It's very likely I dreamt the yelling and banging noises. Or that someone was yelling and banging on something, and I just incorporated it into my waking dream.