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Dick Clark

created by pingouin

(person) by pingouin (4.3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Nov 13 1999 at 9:46:57

An American showbiz mogul; longtime host and producer of American Bandstand, now his company produces the American Music Awards, other cheesy awards shows, and filler television programming like blooper shows and bad movies. Nearly got nailed in the 50's payola scandals - he owned pieces of some of the music AB featured (via companies like Sea-Lark), even getting composer credits on songs he didn't write, IIRC. Was depicted as Adolf Hitler on The Residents' Third Reich'n'Roll LP cover.


(person) by Evil Roe Slade (7.3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Jan 15 2001 at 18:52:44

Dick Clark is a vampire

Ask anyone if they think Dick Clark is a vampire and I would be willing to bet that most will agree. This guy lives on the energy of people (American Bandstand) and is always walking the crowded streets at night (New Years Rockin' Eve). Have you ever seen him in daylight? Does he seem frozen in time--ageless? Sure, he appears to be friends with Ed McMahon, but this single association with a mortal and his periodic interludes as a television host for Bloopers could easily be his cover. This nocturnal beast may well be the Vampire King, lord of those who hunt the night. He has excellent cover as a public figure who collects prey through his address-tracking front --Publishers Clearinghouse. Go on, send it in, if you want to fall victim to this most unsuspecting character! Although Clark has defined himself as a figurehead of the entertainment business, it is quite possible that his legacy extends beyond his accountable public existence. There are some that will go so far as to suggest that Dick Clark's real identity is none other than the original Vampire: the Count Dracula himself, hiding right in the open as a celebrity -- truly the last place anyone would expect!


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chaos

Happy Discover Card! er, ..I mean New Year!! Time travel is impossible American Bandstand NULL is 0
January 1, 2002 No one takes me seriously as a source of malevolence and spite Butterfinger payola
The Residents Delta Kappa Epsilon Meat locker sex December 30, 2004
Sixties People Love Connection Dick Cavett Ed McMahon
Chubby Checker There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis The Challengers Scattergories
The Bee Gees Swenson's Drive-In Restaurants Gary Coleman American Music
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