Deep Thoughts

It's quiet in here. No, it's noisy!
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale I'm doing it right, I feel calmer already

My neck feels stiff, maybe if I just stretch it a bit, I'll feel better. My whole body feels like shit, I'm never going to be healthy.
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale Its not working, I'm never going to feel any better.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Bryan is in Alaska, why hasn't he called? I have been thinking about him less than usual, that must be a good sign.
I haven't been meditating lately, this can't be good. Must sign up for a class soon, or do more yoga or something.
Hmmm, back to the breath
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale

So many loose ends to tie up before I can go travel again. Damn, my mind is wandering again
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale

I wish I could just leave and get away from it all.
Deep breath. Inhale, exhale

I'm scared to let go of the security in life and become an urban gypsy yet again.
I can do it, I have faith in the universe. It will turn out alright.
What if Mom is right, and I do end up living in a cardboard box on Haight street?

This is stupid. Nothing makes sense anymore.
There must be a unifying theme somewhere within this mess in my head. If only, I try hard enough, it's got to make sense. If I can just sit down to write it all down, it will begin to make sense.

I sit down with my journal, at my desk, on my bed, on the couch, in a coffee-shop, at the park, in the library - waiting.

Still waiting for the deep thoughts...