AMD Duron 700 Gigabyte 7ZX Socket A Mainboard w/ integrated Creative Labs SoundBlaster PCI128 (4-channel, CT5880 chip) 128M PC133 SDRAM 2x Quantum LM Plus 20G Hard Drive @ 7200 rpm Video Excel GeForce2 MX 32M AGP AOpen 48x CDROM 56k v.90 Motorola SoftModem (or PC-Tel AMR riser) - this I shall be replacing with DSL, when the time is right. Linskey 10/100 PCI Ethernet Controller Liteon Internet Keyboard Mitsumi Scroll Mouse MidiLand MLi 747 5-piece Subwoofer/Satelllite Set (40W total) 17" ATX Case w/ 300W Power Supply 17" Samsung 750s (.24 H)
My plans for monday -
;-) this is my first attempt at doing this, it'll help me keep my head straight, and also remind me to write up the day.
10:33 GMT - I haven't done any studying yet, I've not been awake for very long. I need to find the info on the shitty website (http://www.stams.strath.ac.uk/) if you're interested...
Stupid exams.
I think i passed the exam, it wasn't that awful. The formula sheet helped lots though... ;-)
I left my friggin jumper at work, so I shivered all the way home before I realised!! yeesh, I musta been tired...
Today I feel a strong sense of completion. Yesterday, Sunday, was our Internet Industry Association end-of-year defrag BBQ, held in the beautiful and leafy Telopea Park in Canberra. As this first annual event was basically my idea and project for the past month, that it went off really well makes me feel content and satisfied.
The day was great. 29 degrees, sunny with a nice breeze, around 60 people. We held a cricket match, with the geeks versus the suits. Peter Coroneos captained the suits, and I was nominated to captain the geeks. Although we lost (by 13 runs), our side had some standout players -- Tony Hill from ISOC-AU and Chris Yeo from Linuxcare ran over a dozen each, and Anton Blanchard (also Linuxcare - those boys swing!) was a fantastic wicket keeper. I bowled OK (none for six) but was out for a golden duck as opening batsman.
The bastard suits immolated the bails which were stored in a billy can to create a challenge to the geeks for next year. My brief defeat speech pointed out that the lawyers always win, anyway but the geeks get paid better. It was a fun day.
Menu for the day: organic & biodynamic beef sausages & lamb chops, conventional chicken breast marinades (honey soy, sweet chilli), Endeavour prawns, vegetatian frittati of sweet potato and eggplant. Turkish salads (tabouli & lentil, fetta & olive. Rock oysters, condiments, fresh fruit.
Today is a tidy-up day, prepare for a couple of days work in Sydney from tomorrow, with our work Christmas party on Wednesday... Should provide plenty of drama to report...
Everything Day Logs Yesterday | Tomorrow Editor Log | Daily Evil | Dream Log
New Nodes: [E2 nuke request] [National Eagle Scout Association] [I Understand] [role-playing] [Tropicana] [RPG] [the day the Citgo Sign wasn't on... day 2] [Hats Off to Halford] [folk music] [Pathfinder] [Thanks Bro] [funk in the periphery] [Integrated Noding Environment] [folk music] [msdos.sys]
Users Online (58): [dem bones] [dannye] [Sylvar] [fondue] [Dis] [Electricsound] [JeffMagnus] [hatless] [tftv256] [Fruan] [ToasterLeavings] [jbird] [WWWWolf] [simonc] [kaytay] [mcc] [crayz] [m_turner] [proj2501] [Randofu] [Tosta Dojen] [WolfDaddy] [Brian Feldman] [yerricde] [gkAndy] [Tarquinious] [Yurei] [Seqram] [AntonZ] [lillianvalencia] [pokey] [Infinity] [jt] [qousqous] [LukeyBoy] [sunhill] [Kubla Khan] [humbabba] [ursus] [Karla] [WyldWynd] [Dataknife] [illuvator] [Sirius] [MrFurious] [taschenrechner] [neoliminal] [Dr. Plaid] [mneek] [joemaller] [Storm_Damage] [zorrak] [Speck] [DataJunkie] [Roland] [sageran] [rswinford] [Ungrateful_Ninja]
JeffMagnus node count: 4071 (1 new since December 10, 2000) JeffMagnus experience: 10077 (-1 more since December 10, 2000) JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.475 XP per node JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.527% (Via alternate method: 0.946%) JeffMagnus node of the day: God
OK, so it's pretty... early... and I'm supposed to wake up early... awww, what the hell.
Happened Since The Midnight:
I tried to use GNUS, but infortunately adding a mailbox to the newsgroup list proved to be impossible even after two hours of work. (GNUS is going to be the Next Mail/News Reader for me. I just hope the university will upgrade the XEmacsen in the workstations to some version that won't crash when I try to do something that requires loading of elisp function...)
Asked help from the newsgroups.
Fighting in the catbox. Not nice. Not nice at all. Violence never solves anything. Peace, folks...
OK, time for me to go to sleep... or something... (just... one... more... vote...)
Morning! (Or afternoon. Or whatever time of day you may be living, anyway.)
I woke up slightly late, because, um, I finally got to sleep at 4 or so...
Well, time to face the challenges of the day.
Done Usenet and E-mail.
GNUS is slowly starting to understand what I'm doing. Slowly.
(Maybe I should make "Reading Mail With GNUS HOWTO" or something? =)
GIMP 1.1.30 is out. This might fix the problem I'm having with new XF86 4.0 and the Wacom tablet...
Had to reboot Linux.
I have no idea what the hell is going on. Just that I got ext2 errors to kernel log that the filesystem was corrupted - I rebooted and it fscked happily away, and it worked again.
Two theories:
I can already imagine the next telephone conversation I'll have soon: "Uh, dad? You said I will get CD-R drive someday.. I could really use that now. Can I get it for Christmas?"
I backed up over 500 megs worth of downloaded files and about the same amount of files from my home directory. I wish I'd have a graphical interface for tar... (/me goes to install GuiTar)
The file stuff backup had its good sides, though - I found a copy of StarFox 64 USA version ROM. I finally got to try out UltraHLE on a strong enough machine... the game didn't work, but at least I got to hear the absolutely beautiful main menu music.
Hmm, maybe I should go for ReiserFS once the stable 2.4 gets released...
Ah, I see - it was a kernel bug afterall... "Should Be Fixed In test12".
...so Randofu is "done".
I wonder what the heck is going around me. In case you were wondering, I've seen that recently, the world around me is... well, disappearing in flames and sorrow.
http://velar.ctrl-c.liu.se/vcl/Artists/WWWWolf/sketches/notlosing.jpg
My advice: Stay Cool. Don't give up.
Even under desperation, there is always hope.
"What you're experiencing now is a temporary distortion of reality..."
If anyone out there feels sudden anger, come to me and I'll hug you. And give you a flower or something. I promise.
::WWWWolf sighs::
...I wish I would be a poet or something...
...and that people would show even a little bit more that they care about other people...
Forgive me my sins, World, for I have sinned.
Is this a tear? It's rolling down my cheek... Yes, it's a tear. And another, and another.
There are no words to describe this pain of the world.
The sky is dark, Will drown the cries of pain the wind, in shades of night
(These poems won't translate well...)
Other day logs o' mine...
Noded today by y.t.: no one cares about your homepage Back button GuiTar StarFox 64
Updated:
Ciao.
(Oh, and don't worry; this isn't how I quit - if I were quitting quitting, you wouldn't know about it)
Seeya later.
outside, on the street, i could hear the shrill, screaming voice of an old woman.
"bah humbug! it's not snowing. this isn't snow! i moved here from toronto to get away from this shit!"
i looked out my window. there was an old woman, a few flakes of drifting white stuff flying through the air as lazy as my brother, and her dog. no other people. she was yelling at her dog. the christmas spirit had found me. i was happy. i decorated. and made fudge. it was great.
The new computer is just about done. I still need to get a cheapo dvd drive and maybe another hard drive. Oh, and a sound card so I can listen to my tunes. I talked to James the other day. He was having a party up in San Francisco, but when it finally happened, I suddenly got all timid and shy and didn't go. Now I need to clean up all of the old computer parts and dump them in a plain, brown box or something.
My sister finally got engaged to Jeff. I'm very happy for her.
sunshine wrote me from Venezuela. Yay!
I started looking for another job tonight. I looked on dice and hotjobs. I hope I don't have to go through a recruiter again this time. I hate feeling that half of the money I'm making is going to the damned headhunter. Oh well. A necessary evil, perhaps.
At least I'm done with my Christmas shopping.
---
Heard back from James. He's not mad at me for missing his birthday. That's good. I don't like people being mad at me. My mom got a box of persimmons from my Auntie Pauline so I guess she'll be eating persimmons for the rest of the year. Spent most of the morning writing random crap in my journal. Started to write a field guide to hanging up Kewpie Dolls on a wall so, of course, it hasn't been all that productive.
back | days | forth
9:45 GMT
How does one normally feel when one knows one cannot provide everything in the world for the one they love?
Guilt? Anger? Hurt?
So, as per usual, I miscalculated the amount of money I would have left. I completely forgot about the huge phonebill that would be paid automatically. It's ironic that the amount of money I have spent on calling my beloved is equal to buying a plane ticket to fly to her... twice. But do I blame her? No. Instead I ponder my awful financial situation, I wonder why I am so terrible at living within my means. I, of course, have my usual list of excuses; I bought my house with no support from anyone and had to borrow money to pay for all the furnishings, or I should have a better job by now, or whatever. Each excuse is just a lie, a denial of the mistakes I made, whether slacking at work or just letting myself get deeper into debt through simple lazy apathy.
Even now, I sit at work waiting for yet another appraisal where I will be told to work harder, take more personal responsibility and communicate better. I wish that I was more proactive, harder working, more extroverted; but I have been like this for a long time. Again, I find myself thinking that it is someone else's fault, never my own. This time, I think I will blame my father. He left when I was 8 or 9, so it is his fault that I changed from a happy outgoing child to a withdrawn husk, never playing or laughing for a long time afterward. Of course, that is perhaps not the entire truth; I was introverted from the first year at junior school, moving a to new town perhaps scared me more than I needed at such a vulnerable time.
So, yes. Um, it's all everyone else's fault that I am such a loser at money and my job, OK? :-)
So, the point of all that tangent? Well, I have suddenly run out of money before christmas, so I will not be able to afford all the wonderful things I wanted to do for my fiancee. How does that make me feel? Damned awful. I curse the day I thought "Yeah, I will be able to pay that credit card off with next months overtime" or "Yeah, five years at XX% isn't too bad" or even "Yes, I really need that stereo."
It's not as though I have no presents for Dana, just that the pile of presents for me will be rather larger than the pile of presents for her... and that sucks, not because it is a competition, but because I have precious little money and I want to do the best for her. Huffpuff, I wish I would just win some money or something. eek, the lament of the man who is terrible with money :-(
But, in other news, I decorated an entire wall of my bedroom yesterday! So, even though I got a paint fume headache, I can now put curtains up and make one wall at least a little more homely.
11:15 GMT
One of my many bosses has just asked me to sign a bunch of christmas cards for our customers. I refrained from telling him to fuck off, instead politely declining the signing request. What exactly would I sign them? "From Anthony, the guy who makes your update CDs, even though he is a talented web designer" ??
I am sure I will get an attitude readjustment talk soon...
This is ridiculous. I have to get some things straight with her over the next little while, I need some closure, or answers or something besides doubts and suppositions...
Thing is, I want to be there when her compass finds her true north. She has never offered anything but friendship, but I want more - a piece of her life and I will accept the fault for that.
"I can fall in love at a distance of thirty feet, through rain and snow." - from a 'three lines free' my brother wrote in the university paper. I'm older than him, and my range is upwards of 1000 miles over slender copper wires, over coded beams of light. But this is like training to emotional failure. The weight is about to drop.
Gonna be a long day.
7:29am EST But then I came to my senses and discovered myself waking up exactly one minute my alarm clock was suppose to go off. And WOW my room is cold! I miss being with my Love and staying warm in her cozy room.
This weekend was amazing! I ended up buying Final Fantasy IX for my Love as a Christmas present and played it for most of the weekend. We were suppose to go out to some Japanese cultural event on Sunday, but had forgotten. I guess it's because we had already sold our bodies to finance our Final Fantasy habit. And what did we have for lunch? Fish n' chips. We finished Disc One already with about 10 or 12 hours of play.
The weekend was so relaxing, that I really thought I was on vacation today. I suppose also, my brain hasn't re-adjusted itself from telling the rest of me that I am not in school anymore. Exam time is now for people in university. And last year, I was there, but had no exams. I had about one month's worth of holidays just playing Playstation games. And this year, my brain was probably expecting the same, hence my almost not waking up today.
9:40am EST "Hmmm....it seems as though I think my best thoughts in solitude. This is what I think as I'm in the washroom. (Is this too much information?)
10:30am EST I found out that the entire office is going to "leave early" today because of the impending snowstorm. I suppose they want to avoid traffic and the weather conditions. I, on the other hand will stay for the duration of my shift, and maybe leave a little early. I don't even think it'll be that bad. My drive on Friday night when I was going to Ottawa was bad with near white-out conditions. I drove for about two or so hours from Toronto to Kingston in that weather at an average of 80km/h. I feel brave and stupid for staying here longer.
11:00am EST I feel like Charlie Brown placing my elbows on my cubicle wall and talking to my co-worker.
2:39pm EST It's snowing as hard as ever. People at work are still here. I wonder when they are leaving. I haven't done much today except e-mail a few database links. I should really consider basing my work at home unless I really need to be here. Is this how the software industry is supposed to work?
3:36pm EST WOOHOO! I'm going home early! Time to play in the snow!
BLIND DATE coming up. Need to do laundry.
I am going to put the finishing touches on my room later this evening & start drooling over furniture ads in Wallpaper*. Might get some spare time to set up bind for the apartment's LAN, too.
Soundtrack for today: I'll stop by the store on my way home and check if Freddie Wadling's new album is available.
I started off the day with a nice refreshing 2 hours of maths (end sarcasm). It wasn't so bad, but there was one question on the paper that involved an algebraic magic square. So far I don't know of anyone who managed that question! Other than that it went well and I think I'll have done good (shame it doesn't count as the real thing if you do good).
Later in the day i was back in that exam hall again, only this time for a Religeous Education exam. I felt like screaming, a full 2 and a half hours of a torturous exam that nearly killed me. RE exams are a lot harder than all the practice questions I've done in class, perhaps it was a little foolish of me not to revise for that one. Well anyway that's about it today. I'm going around a friends house after I finish doing this writeup and then I'll probably be going to bed a little earlyer than usual since I start tomorrow with a biology exam... does the nightmare of exams ever end?
You may recall in a previous episode my alarming discovery: that my husband's platonic friend had filled our attic with her debris. I went up there like a fury to organize the stuff so that we, too, could use the space (!).
As I shifted things about, I found a man's hat (!), and then a box of mens shoes (quite large), and the light began to break upon me: that this stuff was not in fact the unwanted belongings of Miss Platonic Friend, but things pertaining to the owner of the house himself. Gosh. And I had been such a heel to her (behind her back, of course).
My cousin said I looked like Mulder, Trent Reznor, and a young Scarface yet again. I can see the Mulder somewhat but Scarface. Come on now! Oh well, that was pretty much it, more games, Rogue Spear and Half-Life.
Oh ya, and send me a postcard, check out my homenode for the info. THANKS!!
6:00
I'll repeat the list one more time. In Illinois: Alton, Astoria, Quincy Catholic schools, Quincy Christian, Quincy College- erm, I'm sorry, Quincy University.
And Quincy Public schools.
>---->====>====>*<====<====<----<
I was pretty aware today, for a Monday. I spent first period as I always do, working on E-Test. I think I am going to take over the lab one day after school and try 45 computers online. In English, we are working on our Hamlet seminars. I showed the Dragon Lady my English ISP Essay. She showed me what I was doing wrong (read:what I have to do to get a good mark from her.). In math we started Logs. I'm one of the few students that has actually done them before. I spent lunch discussing gender stereotypes.(I think we might have got on the topic after I said some think like "
