Corvallis, Oregon is an unremarkable city which I will now attempt to remark upon. However, I can sum it up for you in simple, famous words: "mostly harmless."
This town is pretty boring. Do you want to see a movie? Go to Albany. Do you want to go to the mall? Go to Albany, Eugene, or Portland. The same list applies to buying a car. Certainly, we have movie theaters, shopping centers, and car lots, but there is a simple maxim to remember when considering if the non-kitchen-related item you want to purchase is availible in Corvallis:
"No."
It may be, however, that this utter lack of anything of interest is changing. The local multiplex seems to be rescinding it's policy of "we don't show movies people are interested in viewing, ever," and with the addition of not one, but TWO office supply megastores in the past year or two has seriously improved availibility of business paraphenillia.
Corvallis is the site of the exciting Oregon State University, and hosts an enormous Hewlett Packard facility, which may well be conducting terrifying experiments on human subjects for all the citizens of this unsuspecting city know.
Thanks to Corvallis's status as a college town, the police department is forever busied with loud noise complaints, which would be more of a nuissance if not for the fact that they really don't get any other kind of complaint.
We sit on the side of the beautiful Willamette River, the bank of which is undeveloped. Efforts are being made to change this, but at present, the most prominent, promising stretch of the Willamette river bank in Corvallis is a parking lot. A gravel parking lot, at that. Well, there's a nice view under a bridge, too, but the loud noises and mentally unstable homeless people tend to freak you out.
The political sentiment tends to be socialist, despite the rather wealthy stature of many of Corvallis's residents.
Corvallis hosts a yearly festival, DaVinci Days, every summer. The theme is human creativity and art; The content ranges from catapults flinging old computer hardware, to plays and music.
In addition, Corvallis hosts the "Fall Festival," in which people attempt to sell you generally home-made crafts, some being outlandish trinkets, others being familiar and practical.
Corvallis is the seat of Benton County, and the Benton County Courthouse proudly stands in the downtown area. A fairly large white structure, the courthouse was built in the 19th century -- and one hardly needs to take ten steps inside to confirm this. Those familiar with the courthouse will warn you not to trust your weight on the banisters, as they may well collapse should any actual weight be placed upon them.
Corvallis has many, many insane, absurd building codes, which anyone constructing buildings will be happy to whine to you about. Glass is prohibited from being on doors leading outside; Kitchen islands -must- have electrical outlets. Banisters must fall squarely within the regulated width. Thankfully, as is common with bureaucracy, no one cares enough about these things to actually do anything more than go through the motions of enforcing them.
Corvallis, unlike many of the other ten most populous Oregon cities, does not have an interstate running through it. It is, however, neatly skewered by oregon highway 99W, and sits within 10-20 minutes' drive of U.S. interstate 5.
Were one to visit Corvallis, they would find no interesting monuments or historical sites to visit. Certainly, one could hike to the top of Chip Ross Hill and stare at the lights for five minutes, but they would do well to rinse themselves off quickly with cold water and lots of soap to avoid rashes from the poison oak that lurks in wait for anyone bold enough to stray from the neatly blazed trail.
The cold water part of this may not be hard -- Corvallis does not know snow. On the rare occasions that the city sees snow, there is much excitement among the people.
"Look! Snow!"
"Woooow...Do you think it'll stick?"
"I dunno. We might even get an inch! MAYBE TWO!"
Corvallis does, however, know rain. It knows rain very well. This is, after all, the pacific northwest. Many Corvallis residents learn to love the rain. They gaze out the windows, when rain beats down heavily upon the road in torrents and waves, sigh, and remark about how beautiful it is today.
Corvallis has an airport, although it is a small, private airport. Once again, remembering the Corvallis maxim regarding availibility of goods and services, one cannot expect to fly into Corvallis. Instead, they will arrive in Eugene or Portland, and make the 45 or 90 minute drive, respectively, to the fair city.
And so concludes this brief history of Corvallis, Oregon. Why one would read this far eludes me, however, since the only reason you would possibly read this writeup is because you -live- in Corvallis, Oregon, and have nothing better to do than read nodes about your hometown. | 
