At closing time, everyone seems more attractive.
In one study*, 220 bar patrons were asked to rate the attractiveness of other people in the bar at varying times of the night. At 9PM, female bar patrons received an average attractiveness rating of 5.5 out of 10, while men were rated a 5.0. By midnight, the average attractiveness rating for women had increased to over 6.5, and men's attractiveness had reached 5.5. This effect was still apparent when the results were controlled for amount of alcohol consumed (i.e. maybe it wasn't beer goggles after all).
What does it mean? One interpretation suggests that the perceived increase of attractiveness acts as a means to lower the standards of the as yet unpaired bar patrons. As a result, the remaining people might be more likely to have sex, which would give them an increased chance of propagating their genes into the next generation.
The gender difference is also telling. In this study, women were asked to rate male attractiveness, and men were asked to rate female attractiveness. The men in this subject pool displayed a much greater increase in how attractive they perceived the opposite sex. This supports the idea that, as the sex that must invest more energy in raising offspring, women tend to be more interested in finding a quality mate than lots of mates. If kangaroos hung out in bars, they would probably display a similar phenomenon. In contrast, even if fish hung out in bars, they, for the most part, would show no sex differences in attractiveness rating increase, because most fish have no sex differences in amount of parental care.
*Gladue, B.A., and Delaney, J.J. (1990). Gender differences in perception of attractiveness of men and women in bars. Personality and Social Psychology Bulliten, 16, 378-391. Additional resources: Nida, S.A., and Koon, J. (1983). They get better looking at closing time around here, too. Psychological Reports, 52, 657-658. Pennebaker, J.W., Dyer, M.A., Caulkins, R.S., Litowixz, D.L., Ackerman, P.L., and Anderson, D.B. (1979). Don't the girls get prettier at closing time: A country and western application to psychology. Personality and Social Psychology Bulliten, 5, 122-125.
In the United Kingdom, the opening hours of pubs and bars - licensed premises, are controlled by legislation called the licensing laws.
In England and Wales, closing time is restricted to 10:30 p.m. on Sundays and 11:00 p.m. on other days. In Scotland and Northern Ireland the laws are more lax, allowing for 01:00 closing in Scotland1.
After this time, the management are not allowed to serve you more drinks, and customers have 20 minutes drinking up time. In theory, you could be prosecuted if caught by the police, drinking after this time.
Note that it is just a legal requirement to close at 11:00 p.m. - there is no legal requirement to stay open. In parts of Central London, the City of London especially, pubs usually close earlier (typically 9:00), and many do not open at all at weekends.2
Enforcement of closing time varies greatly. Many town pub managements are strict, whereas in rural districts, the police tend to turn a blind eye, and are more interested in drink driving and under age drinking.
New: (Nov 2005). Establishments wanting to sell alcohol after 11:00 can apply to local government for a late licence. They will need to do so if offering late night food or entertainment, whether or not alcohol is for sale. Such licences are granted on a permanent, rather than a one off basis. See licensing laws.
The licensing laws for controlling the sale of alcoholic beverages for consumption on the premises originate from the First World War. The act of parliament was introduced by a government worried that productivity in the armaments factories was been lost due to excessive drunkenness of the factory workforce.
The licensing act has never been repealed, but changes have been made in the last 20 years to moderate the laws. In 1980, pubs closed at 10:30 most days of the week, and only 10 minutes drinking up time were allowed. Also, the pubs could not open through the afternoon - they had to close at 3:00 and reopen at 5:30 (they had to close from 2:00 to 7:00 on Sundays).
These inane laws are causing health problems and alcoholism through binge drinking (getting one more in before closing time), and leading to road traffic accidents at the 11:30 peak as everybody leaves the pubs at the same time. The licensing laws are long overdue for repeal. I believe the UK should adopt the common sense system operating in the rest of the world, and allow each business to choose their own operating hours.
The Licensing Act 2003 has allowed late licences to become much more widespread, though closing time is still 11:00 in lieu of a late licence (and also if the publican feels like it). See licensing laws for more details.
Notes:
1 In Edinburgh and Glasgow, pubs can open until 3am - though they are about to move to a unlicensed scheme. Thanks to bodhi for this contribution.
2 Thanks to spiregrain for reminding me about City pubs.
Closing time.
Thrust from the womb into the harshness of life. It might be dark out, it might be light, it doesn't matter. You may have found love or lust or loneliness; you may not care at all. The moment that was will suddenly be cut from all the moments that will be, and the division will be a crisp one even if there is no pain.
Musicians, by the nature of their trade, end up in bars. Many musicians have performed and penned songs titled Closing Time. This writeup is about two of them.
On the face of it, these two songs couldn't really be more different. One is a pop song, crafted by a group that another noder has called (with good reason) "the consummate inoffensive pop band." The other is a tribute to loss, offered up by a poet of pain and alcohol. The thing is, though, they're both about the same concept, and in both you can feel the same thing.
Semisonic aren't Leonard Cohen, and comparing the artists would (rightfully) draw hellfire down on my head. Instead of the exquisite agony of his voice and words, all they could offer was a knife-edged crafted pop anthem - but they built that, and offered it up to the same God, on the same altar that Cohen did, to the same moment that he did. Closing Time. And because they recognized the limits of their skills, and went right to those limits in service of that moment, it resonates in the same fashion that Cohen's song does as you think about it, perhaps. It's beautiful in a strange color, that Semisonic made a song whose pop hook will grab your head and not let go of it until you want to rip it out with a rusty spoon, whereas Cohen's ballad just reaches in and squeezes until your heart runs down his callused fingers in bloody jello - but that's what Closing Time is all about. So huzzah to the fucking both of them.
You can, in fact, listen to these two songs one after the other. I strongly recommend strong drink before, during, and after.
Leonard Cohen from The Future (excerpted to stay under the fair use wordcount)
...
I loved you for your beauty but that doesn't make a fool of me you were in it for your beauty too and I loved you for your body there's a voice that sounds like God to me declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you And I loved you when our love was blessed and I love you now there's nothing left but sorrow and a sense of overtime
and I missed you since the place got wrecked And I just don't care what happens next looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess
it's closing time (closing time)
Yeah, I missed you since the place got wrecked By the winds of change and the weeds of sex looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess
it's closing time
Yeah, we're drinking and we're dancing but there's nothing really happening and the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night ...
and I lift my glass to the awful Truth which you can't reveal to the ears of Youth except to say it isn't worth a dime And the whole damn place goes crazy twice and it's once for the Devil and once for Christ but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights we're busted in the blinding lights
of closing time
Oh the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots It's closing time And it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops
It's closing time
Semisonic from Feeling Strangely Fine
Closing time, time for you to go out, go out into the world Closing time, turn the lights up over every boy and every girl Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whisky or beer Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here
I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home Take me home-
Closing time, time for you to go back to the places you will be from Closing time, this room won't be open 'til your brothers or your sisters come So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits, I hope you have found a friend Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, yeah-
Closing time, time for you to go back to the places you will be from-
This writeup has been approved by the CST 8/3/06
Contrary to popular belief, this is not Semisonic's best song. It may be the most played, but this is at best an accident of epic proportions; that this song has become their legacy is something akin to the travesty that was Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, or Iron Butterfly's 3-minute version of In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida.
The song, ironically the opening track on Feeling Strangely Fine, opens with around fifteen seconds of the sort of inoffensive piano-played-over-a-single-guitar-chord that, at the time, was standard for touchy-feely songs like Closing time. The vast problem is that the piano plays all the way into the first chorus—that's a whole minute of the same eight notes playing in the background. Thank God Dan Wilson can sing, or this song would be stillborn, because after the first chorus, the piano comes back, and baby, it's here to stay.
Semisonic is somewhat known for cute wordplay in their pop music, but Closing Time falls behind other exemplars on this album. The only real examples in this song is the line, "time for you to go out to the places you will be from", implying that you will leave those places eventually, and the oft-quoted, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." It could be argued that Closing Time is an opening theme because it is a ode to eternal recurrence, or something; I don't find these arguments compelling because everything up to the final chorus indicates leaving, a going-away, a getting-the-fuck-out-of-here. How is "Get the fuck out" the least bit related to "Hey, come in and party!"?
If I could ask Semisonic one question, I'd ask them why they made Closing Time the lead track. The title lends itself to a spectacular ending track; the haunting refrain "I know who I want to take me home" is perfect for leaving the listener off at the end of the ride. With the magic of iTunes, I promptly re-ordered the track listing so that Closing Time came at the end, and trust me: it fits much better after Gone to the Movies. At the end, Closing Time is like one last hurrah, just like the song suggests. It's the last drink before you have to go out into the night. It's the song that takes the sentimentality from the rest of the album and concentrates it, but you can't concentrate a feeling that you haven't felt yet. My pet conspiracy theory is that Closing Time was the last song on the album until someone with a strong belief in kilt design moved it to the top for easy access.
On the gripping hand, it is true that this song has a great deal of utility. The lyrics are nothing special, but they have a certain charm. Closing Time doesn't show it off very well, but it's there to some extent. People everywhere use it as a song to signal people that it really is time to leave, and, from what I've seen, it tends to work. I can't imagine a song as useful as Closing Time to close down an event with; I'm not old enough to remember what people used before it. So it's not Semisonic at its best, but it's not Semisonic at its worst, either.
My first experience with this song was at a summer camp. I'm sure the pick-up band that covered it, some Dave Matthews Band, and other inoffensive pop music had a license from the RIAA to publicly perform it. It's a good song for remembering things that you once forgot. It's a song you play for leaving, or a song you play before you go to sleep after a harrowing day. Those eight notes burn into your mind like the chant of a mentat. The guitar bridge rises up out of that mind-numbing refrain as Dan Wilson croons, "I know who I want to take me home...take me home"
So feel free to play this song every once in a while. Play it for the reason it was written: to close a chapter, or maybe a paragraph, in your life. Don't put it at the end of a mix CD; that's where they're expecting it. Don't feel like you have to play it at the end of the night. But do consider replacing it in your playlist for another song on Feeling Strangely Fine.
Closing Time | Feeling Strangely Fine | Singing In My Sleep →
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