Oh God, look at all these people at the party. I hope none of them are hungry. I'll just hide here behind the jello mold. Move along, nothing more to eat here...

There don't seem to be any crackers around here. Maybe I'm safe after all. Oh shit -- Triscuits! I'm in trouble now.

Here comes a fat lady. I'll just try to look inconspicuous and unappetizing.

Wait, what's that kid doing with the butter knife? No, no, NOOOOOOO... OH GOD, THE PAIN! STOP IT!

Fuck. Maybe in my next life I'll be a fruitcake.