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Car Hood Toboggan

created by Skoob

(thing) by Skoob (2 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Sun Mar 11 2001 at 18:55:55

In some northern states, way out in the back country farming communities, there exists a sport like no other.

It's called Car Hood Tobogganing.

You need three things to successfully stage a Car Hood Toboganning adventure:

1. Snow
2. A really big hill
3. A junkyard

Obviously this is a sport that can only be played in the northern states. In the midwest it becomes more difficult because of the severe lack of adequate hills. It's not uncommon to have to pack your hood for a good 5 or 10 miles to get to a proper hill.

The hill is very important. You need to find a happy mix of grade, snow cover, borders, and obstacles. Beginners should never take a hill with obstacles because actually steering a car hood while screaming down a hill is nearly impossible. More advanced riders can select hills with trees, badger holes (for tight cornering if you're completely insane), barb wire fences, and even houses. One hill in North Dakota has a perfectly situated abandoned church at the bottom of a hill where you can actually sled right up to the pulpit. You've never seen fun until you've gotten off course and plowed through a pile of pews.

However, sometimes the building at the bottom of the hill is for avoiding, not using. Tobogganers with a set of balls are known to scream down the hill as fast as they can and bail from their hood at the last possible minute before hitting the building. In this contest, it's all about your bail. You can be creative and do flips or you can just save your neck, but the more flair you incorporate the more respect your garner from your peers. Before staging a bailing contest, be sure to examine the playing field for left over farm implements from the 1930's that will ruin your day if undetected.

If you want to prove how stupid you really are, just run straight into the building. If this is your kind of thing, you learn after one or two attempts to lean the hood WAY back before hitting the building to minimize the debris that ends up in your mouth, nose, and ears. Car Hood Tobogganers have been known to go right through walls of an old house. Obviously this isn't a sport for the faint of heart.

The type of car you get your hood from is important. Experience has taught us that VW Beetles are the best. It's almost as if the hoods were scientifically designed to sled down a snowy hill on. They're also built like tanks so if you're that special breed of moron that likes to run into buildings, you're more or less safe. They're easy to lean back too. Car hoods you should avoid are as follows:

1. Lincoln, Ford, Chevy, and GM. They're too heavy and impossible to stear. They're also notorious for having sharp edges and causing nasty cuts that require stitches and tetanus shots. No fun at all.
2. Any foreign car made after 1990. Too often they use fiberglass which is just plain stupid to use for a toboggan.

Your best bet is to stick with older foreign compact cars, preferably from before 1980. Just remember that your hood should be lightweight, thick, metal, and curvy.

A parting tip for the adventurous soul. Foam rubber is your best friend. If you've never gone Car Hood Tobogganing before, make at least a half-assed attempt to find some foam rubber to line the sharp edges of your hood with. Experience will teach you eventually how to avoid the edges, but you don't want to learn the hard way.

Happy tobogganing!


printable version
chaos

Toboggan snow foam rubber fiberglass
Yoshiki Okamoto GM Chevy Ford
Lincoln VW North Dakota Midwest
Junkyard adventure
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