Bio-Dome

"Miss? If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?"

Calling Bio-Dome the most important movie ever created would be an understatement. But I'll do it anyway.

Bio-Dome is the most important movie ever created.

"Why?" you ask. Simple: many reasons.

Bio-Dome is a romance, a comedy, a buddy movie, an environmental film, a mystery and everything else you could possibly want from a film. And at the end of the day, there are still enough exploding coconuts to knock your socks off. That is, if you're still wearing socks. Cause this is clearly the best movie I've ever seen that could classify as a sock-taker-offer. (With The Maltese Falcon and Space Jam duking it out for second place.)

Pauly Shore is this movie; his award-winning performance makes this film everything it is. And more. Shore plays Bud, a heart-broken man in search of redemption and inner-peace and stuff like that. Now I know what you're thinking "Pauly Shore? But he's the hilarious comedian who makes us laugh with his eccentric personality and style!"

And you're right, he does make us laugh with his eccentric personality and style. But in Bio-Dome, he makes us cry with his eccentric personality and style.

Bud: 'Scuse me miss. Are you tired?
Mimi: What?
Bud: Are you tired?
Mimi: No. Why?
Bud: 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day.

His best friend, Doyle is played by Stephen Baldwin. Now, Stephen Baldwin had just finished The Usual Suspects. Yeah, you all remember the controversy that surrounded that film, people enraged, claiming "There must be a law somewhere that says Baldwins can't be in good movies." Well they were wrong. That law was repealed.

Stephen Baldwin had to take his acting one step higher than the rest of the Baldwins in The Usual Suspects. And you know what comes after a step: another step. Only this step was a big step. This step, was Bio-Dome.

Most people consider Bio-Dome to be the peak of Stephen Baldwin's career, but actually, they've all been mistaken. Stephen would later top his performance in Bio-Dome in a little something called The Flintstones in Viva Las Vegas.

Anyway, the friendship between Bud and Doyle is a beautiful thing. We'll leave it at that.

Doyle: I don't want to have to eat you!
Bud: I don't want you to eat me either.

But the good times don't last long, and when their party is finished, the bio-dome is trashed. Will they be able to save it?

I'll spoil the ending for you, which is "Yes."

What does the bio-dome itself represent? Film theorists love this argument. Some say it represents Bud and Doyle's love for their girlfriends. Some say it represents their inner homosexual feelings towards each other. Some say it represents God.

Personally, I've always agreed with the theorists who propose that the bio-dome is actually a metaphor for the cold war. Now, none of these theorists have any evidence for these crazy theories, which makes them all the more interesting.

You know how people always recommend movies to you and then you don't see them because you don't give a shit?

This is not like that.

I recommend this movie more than I recommend anything that I've ever recommended in my life. Please, for your own sake, see this movie. It will change your life.

People at the video store will most likely give you strange looks when you try and rent Bio-Dome. You'll get plenty of "Uh, are you sure you want to rent that movie?" and "No, you really shouldn't rent this." These video clerks want to keep Bio-Dome all to themselves. They want to keep Bio-Dome a secret.

Don't let them. Fight the power. Maybe bring a knife.

You never know.