Low-budget horror movie, released in 1997. It was produced and directed by Kevin L. West and written by West and Kirk Hunter. The cast included David Boone, Connie Campbell, Kirsten Carter, Lucinda Cruse, Fred Ellis, Raven Greywolf, Lucinda Hinton, Richard Predgo, Earl Ray Saathoff, and Kelley Swinney. Writer Kirk Hunter played Gibby, and writer-director-producer Kevin West played Jug. Stop that snickering. Oh, and horror author Clive Barker appears as himself.

I must confess that I have not seen this movie. Oh, but I pretty desperately want to. What I've read about it makes it sound like something I'd love. Not that it sounds like a good movie--just like something I'd get a kick out of watching. What I've read suggests that the plot wanders and weaves like a drunken llama, that the budget is almost nonexistent, that the film switches from color to black and white film without warning or logic, that perversions, weirdness, and just plain gross stuff happens way, way too casually. It's been described as a bad, bad, bad movie, but hell, I survived "Yentl", so this should be no problem. Besides, it's got llamas. Llamas would surely make any movie better.

The plot, as I understand it: Gibby and Jug own a llama farm called the World of Wool, and the evil Dr. Albert works on evil genetic engineering projects there while also enjoying hot llama sex with a pretty she-llama named Blessie Sue. Some of the other characters include Toni, a city girl who accidentally runs over and kills Blessie Sue, Bock, a rock star with writer's block, and a bunch of girls who are going to be in Bock's new video. The trouble starts when one of the video girls gets her period--and Dr. Albert's genetically enhanced llamas go nuts! They hate, hate, HATE menstruating women! Not a problem normally, since normal llamas, unlike camels, are not known for their ability to kill, destroy, and horrify large numbers of people. But these llamas spit acid and fire! And they're able to hold knives and play the keyboards! Ye Gods! Surely an orgy of destruction, acid, and llama nookie is going to ensue!

And it does!

In addition to all that, there also seem to be some Buddhist monks going around giving people brains. No, not like the Scarecrow, dammit! Brains! Braaaaaiiinsss!

If you've got this movie, please let me know. I will gladly spit fiery acid on you to get my hooves on this flick.

Research from http://www.badmovies.org/movies/bloodllama/index.html and www.imdb.com