I wouldn't call myself a compulsive liar, but that's only because I like to lie. I love to tell fibs and white lies, to see people's reactions. If you had asked me why I wasn't on E2 for two weeks in August, I would have told you that I had been brain dead all that time, when actually I was with my band, on a tour of Russia.

I am often shocked by people's stupidity. When I tell outright outrageous lies, I don't expect to be taken seriously, but apparently some people are dumber than is evolutionarily possible. Take the following two stories, for example:

• I used to live in Kenya, and when talking to a guy and a girl a couple of weeks ago at some party, I mentioned it in passing. The guy asked me if we had TV there. So I told him that there's no electricity in Kenya. And he believed me. Then he asked if I lived among lions and stuff. So I told him no, but because there are no roads or cars in Kenya, we had giraffes that we rode to school.
  AND HE BELIEVED ME!

• Yesterday I finished arranging my photo album from my trip to the dolomites. I showed it to my next door neighbour. There is a photo of a reflection of a house in a pond. I stuck it upside down, for effect. (The photo is of the reflection only, not the house.) She looked at it for a second, and then asked "Is it upside down?" and I told her "No, I held the camera upside down."
  AND SHE BELIEVED ME!

All this reminds me of the following theorem and proof that my statistics teacher gave us one day in class:

Theorem: There are an infinite amount of people in the world.

Proof: Stupidity is endless. Thus for every man, X, there exists another man Y, who is stupider.