Alien Gonzalez is a six-year-old boy from Getzleplath in the Zoriah quadrant. The rickety space-pod he was fleeing from his oppressive government-ruled planet in burst into flames upon entering Earth's atmosphere and his mother and her friends were killed. Miraculously, Alien survived and was flung into the Pacific and rescued by American fisherman who were out on the ocean poaching turtles and dolphins.

When word reached Getzleplath that not only had a group attempted to escape the planet's dictatorship, but that a young boy was alive, they insisted that Earth return him to them and the boy's father (who had been divorced from Alien's mother)

A major confrontation between Earth and Getzleplath erupted and propoganda filled the radio and television waves on both planets, each depicting the other as the despicable Satan of the universe.

It was soon learned that little Alien had family here, too. They insisted that they must have custody of him. To persuade the child to stay, the took him to Disneyland and Hooters. Due to interplanetary trade restrictions, Getzleplath had neither of these! In fact, their corrupt government kepth the wealth for themselves and left the citizens fending for themselves on broken streets filled with crumbling buildings and trashed cars.

On Earth, the government allowed citizens all the wealth they wanted, except for those who were too poor to take the first step toward wealth. Those were eventually turned into soylent green and sold to other planets in the galaxy for a tight profit.

After more than six months of over-exposure in every news outlet, the pawn -- I mean, Little Alien, was forcibly removed by the government of Earth (who had sat idly by for the previous six months). Little Alien was treated to men in full combat regalia and riot gear storming into his house and physically removing him from his relatives. He also was treated to the an onslaught of tear-gas which his rescuers fired into the crowd as they escaped with the child.

After he was given a physical by Earth doctors, he was soon returned to his father and their home planet, where he was treated to even more fan-fare and pumped full of cigars. He was a national hero and was granted all the amenities his country could provide in return for the service he had unknowingly and unintentionally provided by allowing their planet to seem pathetic and helpless and innocent to the rest of the universe.

Little Alien Gonzalez now has his own television show and a harem full of young Getzleplathian women who tend to his every need. He may only be six, but Uncle Mattel Crisco (long-time dictator of Getzleplath) has made him a martyr and a hero throughout the land.