A 1978 ('77?) punk classic by Plastic Bertrand (Roger Jouret), Belgium's gift to us mindlessly-pogoing hordes; this was his only song to make a dent in the English-speaking world, with some assistance from Seymour Stein at Sire Records, who must have loved having a "French Ramones" on his roster; the song almost made the Top 40 in the US. Almost. Which I think was better than Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, and Tommy/Marky were doing at the time. It was Top Ten in the more fertile ground of the UK.

In more recent years, it has been immortalized for you young whippersnappers (*wheeze*) by Thurston Moore and Sonic Youth; I think the Big Fella and the Missus are actually older than me. Coco's younger, I think. I give you the lyrics in the original français - though one of my French teachers was Belgian, I would only struggle and botch any attempt at translation. A beer would go well with this. Maybe two. Let us now praise the pseudo-Gallic monotone.

Wam Bam
Mon chat splash gît sur mon lit
A bouffé sa langue
En buvant trop mon whisky
Quant à moi, peu dormi
Vide, Brime,
J'ai dû dormir dans la gouttière
Où j'ai eu un flash
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
En quatre couleurs

Allez Hop!
un matin
Une louloute est venue chez moi
poupée de cellophane, cheveux chinois
un sparadrap, une gueule de bois
A bu ma biere dans un grand verre en caoutchouc
Comme un indien dans son igloo

Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi

Et hop!
La nana
Quel panard! Quelle vibration!
De s'envoyer sur le paillasson
Limée, ruinée, vidée, comblée
«You are the king of the Divan»
Qu'elle me dit en passant
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
I am the king of the divan

Allez Hop!
T'occupes
T'inquiètes
Touche pas ma planète
«It's not today»
que le ciel me tombera sur la tête
Où que l'alcoöl me manquera
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
ça plane pour moi

Allez hop!
La nana
S'est tirée s'est barrée
Enfin c'est marre-a-tout-casser
L'évier, le bar
Me laissant seul
Comme un grand connard
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Les pieds dans le plat

Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi

-- by Deprijck & Lacomblez, from Plastic Bertrand's Don't ask me the fuckin' album title, I can barely remember my name right now! Go away!

And here is an English translation. A warning: it's quite silly, a lot of it is argot (and possibly argot which is unique to Belgium at that; I haven't sufficient knowledge to say for sure). Of course there's some English already in there. Don't blame me. Untranslatable words have been left (see footnotes). And no, I did not use babelfish - it's clumsy because I thought an explanation of the lyrics was more important in this context than modifying the song so that it has rythym and can hence be successfully sung in English.

I have kept pingouin's sensible formatting for easy reference.

The title roughly translates as "it flies for me" - ie things are moving smoothly along (smooth sailing?).

---

Wam Bam
My cat lies passed-out on my bed
He's swallowed his tongue
Drinking too much of my whiskey
Whereas I, having slept little
Emptied¹, persecuted
Was forced to sleep in the gutter
Where I had a revelation
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
In four colours

Let's Go!²
One morning
A girl came to my place
Dolled up with cellophane, Chinese hair³
A sparadrap, a hangover
Drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Like an Indian in his Igloo

Ça Plane pour Moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi

Et Hop!
This girl
What grumption! What vibration!
To fuck on the doormat⁴
Ground down, ruined, emptied, overwhelmed⁵
"You are the king of the couch"⁶
Is what she says in passing
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
I am the king of the couch

Ça Plane pour Moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi

Allez Hop!
Mind your own business
Worry about your own affairs
Don't touch my planet
It's not today
That the sky will fall on my head
Or that I will miss alcohol
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi!

Allez Hop!
The girl
Left, buggered off
Finally got bored, broke everything
The sink, the bar
Leaving me alone
Like a great arsehole⁷
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Looking quite the fool⁷

Ça Plane pour Moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Hou! Hou! Hou! Hou!
Ça plane pour moi

---

1. Out of cash?
2. Rough translation. Allez Hop!, Et Hop! et cetera imply action, and would usually be said in a brisk voice accompanied by a clap of the hands. Or at least, that's my experience with my chronically-stoned-yet-at-times-astoundingly-active cousin from Aix-en-Provence.
3. Black hair? Straightened hair? This is probably a slang term meaning something quite different.
4. He is a metaphorical doormat? vireo however says: the line "s'envoyer sur le paillasson" probably means "fuck on the doormat", s'envoyer being short for "s'envoyer en l'air", slang for, well, fuck.
5. = fucked
6. I have also heard divan used to mean doona, but the dictionary says NO. Is this likely? French noders, /msg me!
7. connard comes from con, meaning cunt. But that's a bit harsh for the context.
8. Rough guess - literally "my feet on a plate" or "my feet on the flat".